Thursday, December 3, 2015

Senegal Round 2-Nov2015-March2016


SENEGAL ROUND 2

I feel excited to watch Viva experience Africa. So much personal stimulation the second you step out the door. People trying to sell you stuff every second, particularly in the tourist locations, and then the little shaved heads begging for alms for their marabout or spiritual teacher’s new car (they say). I am surprised at his first reaction. “I like it! I like the aliveness of the streets, like a continuous flea market. Everyone hangin’ out and selling random things.” The disgusting pollution spewing out of almost every non-wealthy person’s car gags my poor lungs. Black soot coughing out of the large trucks with each accelerator push, on their low tires with the rear chassis slanting down towards the ground like it’s on its last run. Brown soot shooting out of the over-charged mini buses called “clindos” (?) with their hangers-on in the back announcing the stops to the driver by banging on the windows are the major danger to us cyclists. They don’t use their rear view mirrors to make random sudden stops. Yesterday I almost hit a fancy large shiny black SUV whose driver, a young and slick-haired Senegalese woman, decided to swerve to the right into a driveway at her own timing oblivious to the rest of the world. “Heeeeeey! ATTENTION!!!!” I shouted at her coming within inches of altering her paint job. “Désolée...” she retorted sheepishly. I’m sure it will happen again. I kept going. 


Having my bike in Senegal this time is a treat despite the ferociousness of the Dakar streets. While Viva is enjoying the risk and quick-reacting nerves of steel required to swerve and dodge and weave for your life every moment...like a focused meditation on wheels...I beg to differ. Taking short and shallow breaths while focusing on the exhale, and with a bandana as the first line of defense, I am on survival mode. Like a live computer game, you cannot think of anything else except the movements at hand. I am quite anxious for our big departure day with our packed bikes into the unkown of the Senegal “brousse” or brush. How will the roads be? Where will we sleep? WIll we be safe? Mostly we are told that when we arrive in a village we need to seek the chief and ask him where to sleep for the night. There is no wild camping in Africa. It is not the norm and can subject you to unpleasant experiences, as well as pleasant of course. Most people talk of security issues. I am sure they are few and far between but it only takes one, as I learned in Cabo Verde, to disable your functionality for a while. 

This morning would be the big day no matter what. We had planned to leave the day before and took all day to pack. By 4:30pm we were ready. In 2 hours the sun would go down, which would maybe get us to the end of the never-ending smoggy nightmare of the Route Nationale. And then what??? We easily took Fred and Marianne’s suggestion to stay another night. Of course I knew she would love to delight in my son’s presence for another 12 hours and off they went cooking crêpes together in the kitchen, sharing stories, English and French lessons, and coy smiles. The middle-aged mothers on this journey always fall for Viva. No wonder of course. And Fred and I sit and sing and play “Stairway to Heaven”, “Come Together”, and other American oldies on his funky Alabama prized acoustic guitar. 

Our bikes stayed packed and after half a dozen games of revenge pool while I shoot out my last emails and internet work...we are all on our way, helmeted, sunglassed and bandana-ed. Viva and I start slowly and carefully, adhering to Fred’s directions and also adjusting them to the reality of our needs, wavering between side streets of red sandy laterite, wide sidewalks that start and stop, and the shoulder on the busy road. We have to take the best option which is constantly changing. Our direction is basically the Route Nationale for the next 2 hours, the busiest and dirtiest 15-mile stretch of Senegal road, in which the most horrible enemy are the black-smoke spewing trucks. Without them the air would probably be 75% cleaner. We silently move along, me constantly checking for Viva in my rear view mirror, dressed in neon orange for maximum visibility, we are a bulky sight. We follow the wide busy road as directed until we come to what seems like a total standstill of a zillion cars waiting at the worst intersection of the way, a multicircular highway interchange where we will have to insert ourselves very carefully into the mayhem. I decide to veer off the Route Nationale at this point and into the village that lives next to it to find an alternative to getting to the other side. RIding with the others who decide the same, on bumpy sandy terrain, even more careful now of stopping vehicles, opening doors, sudden pedestrians and potholes...we get to have another experience now. Everyone is yelling out at us, ogling our unusual appearance, trying to pretend grab us, etc. This is biking through African villages we would learn. No way around it. We are vulnerable and we are white. 

As all good things happen when you are open and in the flow and on your Heart Journey following The Call...Fred, our gracious Warmshowers host who picked us up when we arrived at midnight in Dakar with bikes and bags, told me about Village Pilote. Within minutes of hearing about this organization focused on "natural building" located on the path of our (my son Viva and I) first bike ride through Senegal, I felt driven to see it. Looking it up online I was filled with even more interest. But its 2-D representation did nothing to prepare me for the grand Soulful experience of spending a few days with the 120-strong Community of 3 to 25-year olds and their Counselors, Teachers and Mentors living near the famous Lac Rose (Pink Lake) region 50km north of Dakar.
I contacted the French expat Director Loïc the day of our departure who, upon hearing of my own mission of COB trainings in Senegal, came right over with map in hand to introduce himself, shake my hand, and invite Viva and I to stay there and share meals with the group. As always happens when 2 or more Eco Freaks get together, vibrant conversations of compost toilet cover material, earthen building styles and the latest on cob oven fuel sources ensued. I knew I was in the company of my global "family".
 
After 2.5 hours on the most blasphemously long, polluted and dangerous road I've yet biked, the 15-mile stretch of "Route Nationale" that is absolutely (they say) unavoidable when wanting to leave Dakar and go anywhere else except for the airport...Viva and I finally lowered our physical, emotional and face guards after turning left onto the smaller offshoot towards Keur Massar and the smaller offshoots taking us to the tourist-heavy Lac Rose area, the famous tourist destination of red/pink salty waters that would herald

our hosts for the night...the Village Pilote. As we get farther from the Route Nationale and Dakar, the roads get smaller, quieter and obviously more enjoyable. Ahhhh, we can breathe now. Thankfully Senegal has no mountains or climbs. Flat and no wind. Yes! And the roads are perfect thus far, relatively new it seems. We stop in Naga for some thrist-quenching local coconuts, a papaya and green-skinned sweet grapefruit. Ibou rides up on his moped luring us to his Arc en Ciel Hotel for the night, only $30 for a room with air-conditioning, TV, swiming pool, etc. And can I help his Youth Center learn cob? I take his number in my phone, the best way I have learned to end the interaction. It is a guarantee to them of continued contact. 
The villages became smaller and more bearable (only 20 rather than 50 onlookers surrounded our bikes in excitement) until we arrived at the source of all of Senegal's salt. The water looks red because of an algae that lives in it, the only thing that can withstand the ridiculously high salt content. Flurries of "salt flower" foam line the shore as do repetitive mounds of greyish-white salt being packed into bags for shipment.  When we arrive at the Lake, as expected, we are met with a slough of the ever-present vendors, laden with bracelets, beads, steer skulls, salt, whatever works. They can be so pushy and tiring. Do they have any idea of their impact? We are learning that NO works very fast because it is a word they do not use in Wolof. “No” is impolite and offensive. When you mean “no” you say “merci” and look down. I will try it. If you actually say “No”, it is a rare occasion, people will just walk away. But you have also hurt their feelings. The Lake water is literally red with salt. Mountains of white and grey salt line the sides of the lake. Men fill polyurethane bags with this precious salt and Viva and I ride on the relatively smooth but bumpy road between the salt mounds. The sun is setting soon and we know not how much more road and what kind of road lays ahead. A gaggle of young girls spot us and decide to run next to us for a mile or so with ease. This is a favored sport. 
We get to the end of the Lake and find a stray biker who guess answers our destination direction. Eventually between questioning passing locals, trying to make out GoogleMaps on our phone and using common sense with regards to the ocean direction....we were on our way to the Village Tremplin in the distance. We find another one. We use GoogleMaps to get an idea of where we are. Between them all we decide to head inland up the shell-encrusted road towards a settlement on the hill ahead. The sun is setting behind the palms, the ocean waves break in the distance, we find a new guide on his mountain bike, Mamadou, excited to accompany us the rest of the way. 

We arrive at Deni Biram Ndao at dusk, led by a local co-biker Mamadou, hesitating to stop lest we get surrounded once again with a team of short onlookers. The sun is set now and the last minutes of light accompany us to the Tremplin Village of red mud brick buildings that announce adobe land. A big smile of happiness and relief fills me with joy to have found my brethren here in Senegal: natural builders, no concrete. Immediately the feel is different. We arrive to a scene of 30 male sandy soccer players of all sizes in the center of the village. Noone cares we are there. They are used to the visitors. Giorgui the 2nd in charge comes to welcome us. He shows us to our room in the main red building with a giant thatch roof. It is dark and the generator is not working and they don’t have enough solar panels to light the night. He tells us that when we hear the triple clang of a metal spoon on a tire rim, dinner is served. Viva and I have been pedaling for 6 hours or
so, with minor food stops, and we happily go bucket shower ourselves and prepare for a wonderful dinner experience Senegalese-style. 
 
There are about 100 youth here of all ages. All of them have been found on the streets lost, away from their families and up to no good. They come from Dakar neighborhoods known for street kids and have been brought here if they passed the first three steps of showing willingness. Here they are in a safe, joyful, healthful setting which is also strict, regulated, organized and focused. They get loving teachers and counselors who teach them life skills, work skills and academic skills...all on this large piece of red sandy land dotted with trees. This is the brainchild of Loïc Treguy, a French expat, who has garnered the support of France, the US and some other organizations to create a beautiful model of community, brotherhood, love and support. Here the boys all work and play together within the strict rules of the village and receive all they need to grow into confident, respectful, hard-working and inspired individuals. They receive schooling and practical specialized skills in the area of their choice: woodwork, electrical, metal, masonry, cooking and general cleaning services. Viva and I are blown away at the fluid and happy flow of life here at Le Tremplin. With only red mud (laterite) brick buildings built by the youth specializing in "masonry", compost toilets that are emptied daily into a big hole in the ground, shower water lifted up from a well, a huge commercial kitchen that is spotless, this simple place with a vegetable garden and sheep is a wonderful model for the world. I imagine grabbing the inner city kids in the US and placing them in somewhere like this, even bringing them to Africa, would heal them quickly. Lastly, the food we ate out of a large communal round silver dish in a circle of 7 spoon-ready mouths each meal , quietly and respectfully, was phenomenal. Perhaps the love with which it is made adds to the deliciousness. No desserts but noone is complaining. They are happy with so little. Few have phones, but they have each other. Love, companionship and mentorship. We have been well-taken care of here. Kindness abounds. A deaf youth follows us and stares, picking up all the information he can. Apparently he is one hell of a rapper, despite his inability to hear. We watch him beat rhythms on the walls, unconsciously. One of his "brothers" passes him with a supportive pat on the back. Viva and I decide we will be back to build a giant cob oven with these boys. It is hard not to come back here. There is so much LOVE in the air. My Heart is touched. Bless this place. 

Tonight the moon looks almost full. It’s an African night, warm and breezy, and many critters are singing and buzzing to the moonlight. Inside Viva has bats above him and mice below him. Creepy. In my tent I am safer. I am tucked into the sandy opening behind the bushes for a little morning privacy. We have been well-taken care of here. Kindness abounds. A deaf youth follows us and stares, picking up all the information he can. Apparently he is one hell of a rapper, despite his inability to hear. We watch him beat rhythms on the walls, unconsciously. It is all so very cool. 

The clang clang clang goes off at 7am...rise and shine time at the Tremplin Village. The big boys are up and breakfasting on a sweet white rice porridge with spoons in hand. Viva and I miss the early morning shift and make it in time for the little people’s breakfast. The large communal 7-person platters are brought out. A new dish, a new recipe to taste. The boys all wait for the elder to begin and that would be me. I wish them “Bon Appetit”

and they all begin spooning their sections of the circle respectfully and with excitement at the first sweet taste. It is my first time with the “young ones”. They are so cute and quiet and eat alot slower. Their tasks and work are not as physically demanding as they are in school all day and the 2-foot diameter platters fill alot of food. Viva goes around finishing up the leftovers, lest anything go to waste. Usually not much does in Africa I am learning. Even the darned cement bags get reused to wrap roasted peanuts in. 

Today begins another leg of our bike journey into the unknown. I am anxious as I am not sure where we will end up sleeping tonight and what the road will be like. But when we tke it one day at a time and do the footwork it always works out. The first 5 miles are a not- very-fun mix of rideable and unrideable sand road. It is the red laterite mixed with sand and interestingly enough the parts that look sandier are in effect more rideable than the ones that look harder. We are moving along slowly and steadily and dismounting what seems like every 5 minutes. The consolation is that this section is short we are told. And soon enough we arrive at the major intersection with the asphalt smooth road we are seeking to Mboro. We sit in the shade to chomp on some local grapefruits and raw peanuts, trying to blend in to the village and not draw attention. It kind of works, save for the elder artist sitting amongst his wooden sculptures hanging from a tree who is toothlesly screaming out at me about a Mme Martine and the tree with shade. We ignore him as does another woman passing by. Elders everywhere have a license to looniness and an excuse for their crazed outbursts. 

Our 30-mile ride today is of the finest kind with smooth new road surface the whole way! We pass a village every 5-10 minutes and must respond to the little people shouting “Toubab” and “Donne moi de l’argent!” with handwaves and greetings. “White person” and “Give me money!” is what they have been taught to yell at us. What a joke! Joke’s on us too! Since we fly by we don’t really care because we will not see them again and we are a rare sight. Besides it beats the actual rest stops where we are surrounded by 20-30 little people at all times. They just stand and stare and talk about us in front of our faces. They watch our every move and comment. I so darn wish I understood and could blurt things out. Our latest tactic is making scary faces and growling at them, which send s them running. So does whipping out my Iphone camera to take their photos. It’s like the Devil they have been told by their parents, taking their Soul. 

Did you know a sheepskin can be used in strips as a liner inside a bike tire to protect your tube from punctures? Today Viva and I learned the African version of our Western plastic- dependent tire liners from Abdul, an elder bike and moped mechanic who walked me briskly over to some young decorous wife selling her husband’s shorn and dried sheepskin for between 2500 and 3000 FCFA, the equivalent of $4 to $5. Clearly we were excited to be doing things local-style and learning new tricks. Apparently even a nail will bend when trying to pierce the tough hide of a sheep or goat. 

Viva and I are gettin’ the hang of biking through Africa or at least Senegal. The villages are so laid back, everyone doing their tasks in a slow and languid stroll through the sandy streets impacted with garbage. Everyone knowing what everyone is doing and where to go for whatever need we have. Hungry for a Thiebou Djen? Right over there behind the
orange curtain. Need a fresh bissap or bouille drink? Over in that store. A place to sleep for the night? Let me call my friend. Our best moments are when we score a delicious meal for 75 cents in some humble non tourist-focused hole-in-the-wall restaurant at a market. With two naturally-pressed or blended juices for another 30 cents and we are flyin’ high. You can definintely eat well for $2 per day. The taste is good. As for the contents? Better not to look too closely and focus on the taste. As long as your belly accepts it and the bowels are happy... you’re doin’ ok. 
 
African villages are more lively and well-rounded than European villages due to the full spectrum of ages. The small villages are basically the template for Euro-American ecovillages or any worldwide villages for that matter, it’s just that there is more of a big family/community feel in Africa. 

For us as bike travellers in Africa, or more accurately Senegal, we benefit from the fact that movement into Nature beyond the village boundaries stops at dusk. Senegalese seem to be afraid of being out and about alone in the bush at night. They are afraid of evil Spirits that could hurt them if they are alone. In Africa, alone is not the norm. Alone and Space is not something people seek here. This is one of the major cultural clashes I experience here. You start to get used to being polite and greeting a hundred people a day including dozens of kids. It’s just what you gotta do lest people see you as impolite and begin to shun you. 

Viva and I have begun to get into the bike travelling and bush camping groove. Around dusk we get far enough from the villages that noone would be walking around in the tree and bush-protected area off the road we will discreetly call home for the night. I am pretty sure that were someone to spot our lights in the forest, or a fire, they would run in fear from the Spirits having a campfire...which serves us well. In the US I would be more fearful in ceratin States of armed and/or drugged loonies in the woods. In Europe there would be none of that. So pick your Land. 

The unsuspecting thorns have gotten Viva’s tires up to three times a day now and he is becoming an expert at tube repairs and changes. The $5 sheepskin liners have proven themselves invalid and we await Barbara’s US-sourced beefy plastic liners to save the day. Besides that and shitty sand-stricken roads we are thoroughly enjoying biking in Africa so far. 

Yene Kao and the Cob Workshop
Sunday November 30 is my big arrival back in Toubab Dialaw where I left from in June this year. Now I am an “old” friend. Greetings will take more time. But nothing has changed. It feels nice. The Mamas on the beach give me big bear hugs. I am warmly welcomed despite leaving under not always the clearest of situations. An oven job not totally finished, plaster that fell off, weird vibes with another one due to cultural confusion, and of course

the multiple lovers from the same Lebou tribe. I guess it’s all forgotten by now. I am so excited to have Viva here this time. But all he cares about is getting to the site and our new home for the month, another 3 miles away. So off we go to Yene Kao to wrap up this leg of our journey. 

Hans and Roos are my clients and the hosts of the workshop. A young attractive and energetic couple from Holland, they have opted to settle in Yene Kao on a small piece of land right in the middle of everything with barely any privacy. They are here to create artistic beautiful public spaces from abandoned garbage heaps, with the locals. They live from fundraising donations and now, through the graciousness of Hans’ folks in the Netherlands, have a piece of land o build a home on. Back in May we serendipitously met and converged on a workshop plan to build their 25m2 guest house in a month. Six months later the guest house plan turned into their house plan, meaning the group would now attempt to complete a structure twice as big in the same amount of time. With half the crew being rugged Senegalese builders and half being white women of all ages plus the vegan Sicilian Lorenzo, the workshop is bound to be a fun-filled environment. 

Yene Kao is the real deal. We are the only White people around. Sand-filled streets, concrete block housing, late night food stalls, garbage everywhere, fish remains and shells piled high, Mosque chants on the wind, long colorful pirogues looking alot like Native American canoes, beautiful warm ocean, women selling tiny amounts of peppers, peanuts, spices, coffee beans, tea, veggies and fly-ridden drying fish or chunks of meat. Second hand clothing from Europe and the US piled high on tables and on the ground attract the young and fashionable and even me. The young girls walk with their arms around each other and call out to me: “Toubab, comment t’appelles-tu?” I get tired of the same old questions day in and day out. I think of alternative responses. Living here long-term I would really be in a different relationship with them all, but still it’s tiring to be White in Africa. 

Each morning I rise early while it’s still dark. The prayer calls are my alarm. I love that they start when I already want to get up. I sit up in my mosquito net tent and meditate with the chanting in the background. Each day it’s different. A different voice and a different chant. I wish I could have a peek in there but have not ventured out yet. As a non-Muslim I am not welcome they say. As a menopausal women I am. Whatever, I’m not that interested. At dawn I head onto the beach alone. The only figures I see are the long- robed Imams or spiritual older men with caps on and prayer beads in hand. Clasping their hands behind their back they pace along the ocean’s edge probably reciting prayers in their heads. I also see older women in their layers of cloth and headpieces pacing as well, slowly. And the other morning I saw two women remove their clothes except for a sarong on the lower body and enter the water to duck under the waves and wash themselves. I have never seen that before. Here in Yene Kao it is rare to see someone swimming in the ocean, especially women. You wonder why. It’s so hot and the ocean so refreshing. Is it that is is so dirty with littler? From outside it looks pretty clean and I hope that is truly the case. But seeing all that has been washed up from the ocean on the sand’s edge, you gotta think there’s still tons being washed around in there under you. I try not to think about it and when I succeed, it ll seems like Paradise. 


Our family for the month is a wonderful group of women plus Lorenzo and now recently Bosco, a young male university student here to get practical experience to back up his studies. Once again I feel grateful and honored to have the opportunity to teach cob to willing students, travelling for days to come learn with me. God had truly shown me never- ending support for following my passion, and now, the true calling has presented itself with an opportunity to show up. My dream of being an Ecovillage Designer has now come to fruition as I am being asked to design a huge project on my favorite Cabo Verdian island where I had the best sexual heart affair in a while with my young Zeca. So Goddess is taking care of two things at once. My Love Body Desire and my intellectual physical work opportunity to provide me with more income. How much should I ask for? I look forward to this new Challenge to keep me awake and effortful. 

Africa or Senegal is becoming more familiar now. I feel more relaxed about it this time. I have seen and lived more authentically too. I still have two more vacation bike rides to choose. Life is good for me. I miss my two other sons greatly and regret not being closer to their lives. I also feel sadness to not be in on Yvonne and Eddie’s well-being and Eden and Ellen. Jackie my sister is by now quite the stranger. I cannot maintain a sustainable relationship with her. She is not at the level of evolution that would allow it to work. Oh well. I miss my Dad alot and hope he is in a good place. Peaceful. Even Jan is in my Heart always. I hope we see each other again one day soon. 

I feel and see my skin changing, loosening, wrinkling and it makes me concerned about the fact that it has nothing to do with my fitness and health. My body is still and always in good shape but up close the skin is not the same. Oiling it more, drinking more? I cannot reverse it but here on in oil it more. Tonight is Saturday. I am laying low. I dont need to be out and about anymore. But tomorrow is Winter Solstice. We will celebrate. 

Biking South with VIva
A full moon night in January. Viva and I have biked 3 days from Toubab Dialaw, our Senegal base, and have found our home for the night in an abandoned bungalow in front of the beach. Another large complex of abandoned bungalows left behind. An ambitious project that fell through. That is why I advocate starting small, humble, low-cost...and then let the thinggrow by itself organically. 

Africa. Senegal. It is wonderful to see Viva feeling more and more comfortable with the cultural greeting norms, speaking in French, eating in a communal plate, and even using his smattering of Wolof. And it’s only been 7 weeks. What is amazing is that most people take him for my husband. Clearly I am flattered, and sorry for him. But the Senegalese don’t have a blockage around ageas we do. The young men actually appreciate the older women as a rule here, but that only goes for the Toubab women. You definitely do not see them with older Senegalese women. Speaking personally it feels natural to me. 


We just spent 3 days camped in the sandy busy courtyard of Yacou’s family compound in the depths of Nianing village. We push our bikes through the sand streets that wind beween unfinished concrete block shacks, spontaneous garbage dumps, construction debris, reed-fenced homes, fancier Toubab homes, tiny stores with their rebar-welded protective bars, male seamstress businesses and awe-inspiring baobabs everywhere. I am pooped and getting impatient with the distance while trying to be polite with our host Yacou. We met him in Toubab Dialaw, a self-made shoe and bag artisan who produces original designs in bright reds, yellows and greens and made to order. Viva had him make him flip flops with crossover straps in an X-shape in the colors of the Senegal flag. He sat there on his stool with his special tools and materials cutting out the soles, glueing them together, sewing his trademark braids along the edges, and making it all nice and tight and strong. All day he worked on the sandals, in front of the ocean, while doubling as the guardian for Nabou’s restaurant. Yacou has a beautiful calm energy. He is respectful and self-motivated. He reminds me of my sons, the artists. His birthdate of September 20th rings a loud bell for me as I am his polar opposite, March 20. Normally there is juice between us. I am watching and feeling. I am not naturally attracted to him, but there IS something. He has a deep strength and self-knowledge which I like. He is at peace with himself. He has no apparent ego. He is not aggressive at all and is present. I feel it would take a long journey to grow the attraction, but could be very good for me. His brother Pablo kicks my butt with his gait. Sex is just so powerful a force in bringing people together. I watch his strong fit physique slink across the courtyard and try to undress him. Can he feel it? Does he do the same? He is a Dragon. A Taurus Dragon. His firm large hand shaking mine tells all. I know he will make love to me and satisfy me. I am thankful to have someone to fantasize about again. Been a while. While Yacou may make the better lover in the end, with his caring and compassionate way, he does not trigger the energy as Pablo does. To each his own. And then there is their 70-year old father Omar, wise and charming and a lead djembe drummer. He may be the best of the three in bed, with his focus on connection before physical sensations. The whole family does it for me. Must be a karmic thing.
We spend three days lolling about in their courtyard, waiting for the communal meals to come out from the smoke-infested “kitchen” with nary an exhaust hole. Poor Aisatou seems to be the Cinderella of the household. I learn that her husband, the eldest son of Omar, brought her here from Casamance, introducing her into his family’s home where she will always be an outsider and as such, akin to the maid. It’s quite appalling but she is too smart to let it go unnoticed and without a plan. Day in and day out she is the only one sweeping the grounds in the morning, washing the bathrooms, washing the clothes, preparing the smoky wood fire for the meals and the meals as well. She is also responsible for cleaning up the dishes, going for well water 10 times a day on her head, and all this with her chubby boy Moussa on her back and little 4-year old Awa trailing along.. There are 8 and sometimes 9 other people onsite. It is appalling and when I address her she helplessly breaks out in complaints and excitement at finding an ally in her struggle. Even her baby is being alienated and not held by the others while she does her chores. The mother and two sisters-in-law, just like in Cinderella, walk around with their babies taking care of their own persoal needs only it seems. Who do I address about

this injustice? It’s not my business for sure but I feel obligated to a mistreated sister. I don’t know the whole story but can see unfairness in front of my eyes. Aisatou tells me she will escape as soon as Awa’s school is out and head back to Casamance where her mom lives. She puts her finger to her lips to signal that mum’s the word. It’s our secret. And to save up money for the transport she will sell shrimp here, secretly. Viva and I wonder when she will find the time to do it. She is happy to have found a friend in me. I suggest to her that she go on strike and object to doing certain things. She says she is scared of the matron of the houselhold, namely her husband’s mother, Awa, who wll say mean things about her. I tell her: “So what!” I see her dark unrelenting eyes thinking on it. I don’t like the fact that this family behaves so progressively, open, and even worldly all the while contributig to the inferiority of women. The other day someone else, I don’t recall who and where, said that women were inferior and that’s he way it is. They must do the work of the household. Aisatou and many others comoplain about how the men sit around, smoke, talk and watch and do nothing. No wonder the one man needs 4 wives and the wife only needs one man. The women here are just fine on their own and with each other and are sometimes very happy for the man to be away with his other wives to give them a break from serving him. 

Entering the Sine Saloum World Biosphere Reserve
Funckin’ A. My fears of the unknown that lies ahead biking through Africa lessen each moment I am blissfully riding in full-on natural areas far from villages and far from asphalt on serene laterite-packed smooth roads. With ease I must add. Some of the European off-road riding was way worse. Every 15 minutes we need to walk the bike through a patch of loose sand but we are getting used to it and it’s all part of the flow. The African bike journey flow. As long as the end is in sight we bear it better and better each day because the payoff is grand. A rundown “bush taxi” or “mini van” loaded with rooftop goods or passengers races by every 20-30 minutes, blinding and dumbing us for the time it takes the sandblast to settle again. We bear it happily. The payoff is grand.

Flamingoes, wild ones, soak their spindly legs in the distance. Lone baobab trees become scarcer, like small islands of vegetation in the vast sea flats we bike through today. Suddenly the ocean waves appear and we orient ourselves again, yup, headin’ south to land’s end, until the Gambian border. Beyond land’s end, a host of well-recommended addresses await us: Nodjor Island, Bassoun Island, Island, etc. We are to reach them by “pirogues”, the curved and colorful fishing canoes labeled with its owner’s or sponsor’s name that are unique to Senegal. The word Senegal even means “pirogue”. 


Starting today all is new for me, and I learn to enjoy the mysterious adventures ahead, step by step or pedal by pedal. Here they say “Ndanka Ndanka” which means little by little. With each day’s blessings and gifts my trust grows. Trust that all is well and Great Spirit is watching over us. Trust that the World is a beautiful and safe place, including the

people. I actually have less issues with Nature, which is scarier for the locals here. They feel safer with people and I feel safer with Nature. Viva and I camp each night in a new spot we find around dusk, the time when everyone heads close to home, leaving us in peace. Last night it was a great mango tree in a hidden nook that watched over us as the great orange moon came up through the brush. The night before it was Baidi, the self- appointed Serer guardian that gave us the thumbs up to lay down our heads in the abandoned bungalow on the beach, belonging to some unknown investor of 20 years ago, who could house several villages with his concrete oceanfront studios. Tonight....quién sabe? For now, in this moment, our faces beam with glee at our first naked beach romp since arriving in Africa. Taking our midday pause off of the alternating long white, red and brown “piste” that will take us to Djiffer, land’s end, we walk our bikes through the salt flats to a lone prickly bush on the beach. With no humans visible for as far as we can see, this is a first. We have the whole beach to ourselves and the whole ocean for that matter. The bliss is endless. We rip our sweaty dirty bike outfits off to our most favorite state of being in Nature. Finally a clean beach, clean water and noone around to stare, ask questions, hang around. Ahhhhhh, it takes an effort ot get away from people in Africa, and when you do, you get a whole lot of BIG EXPANSE with comfort and ease. 
 
Palmarin Coast
Mealtime in Senegal is not a solo thing, ever. The spoons are handed out, the large round silver platter is placed on the ground or a low table, people take their spots on the ground or low stools and chairs or in squat mode, and usually once the elder begins with “Bismilla”, the eating begins. The first taste sets the mood. Is it Thiebou Djen today? Mafé? Domada? Supakanja? Everyone has their favorite and their favorite veggies and fish. Some take spicy pepper condiment, like Viva, and some take extra sauce. Full focus and attention is on the food. Not much talking. It tastes best when it is after a hard morning’s work, like out cob building. Taste buds are virgin and fresh. Relaxation fills the body. The meal is a wonder drug of satisfied desires. 

Sometimes for us Toubabs, we have to really stay focused on the triangular section in front of us, lest certain of our mealmates’ habits turn off our appetite. At Nabou’s one day, I was pushed over to the “better” chicken meal. As the guest I had to accept and crawled over to a brand-new untouched dish of chicken, rice and veggies. I have to admit it was a nice change of pace from the eternal fish and rice. However, my new mealmate was a 7-year old Pippy Longstocking-type who began fondling and tugging at the chicken and generously throwing me pieces with her greasy licked fingers. I tried to remain unperturbed discreetly returning the favor. Soon she had the whole carcass in the air tossing and turning it to find the remaining shreds of flesh, chewing loudly with her big white teeth protruding from her expressive mouth. That was the last straw. I put my spoon down against the platter, the sign for “I’m done”, and crawled back to Nabou, the big African Mama with the front space between her “happy teeth”. Forever giggling and

sending out love from her large rotund breasts that fed 7 children and now a proud and successful businesswoman, Nabou is a main figure of respect and female modelling in Toubab Dialaw. She runs her restaurant like a star New York City restauranteur, dressing up in her latest bright-colored boubou, welcoming her guests with big voracious hugs, free drinks and other favors.
When I first arrived back in Toubab Dialaw, Adama, one of my beach mama grlfriends, led me to her “sister” Nabou, who took me into her floormat “parlor” to negotiate on how she could get a cob oven and I could get fed and housed for a week. We went back and forth in true businesswoman-style, each one trying to get a little advantage and convince the other of surrendering to her generosity. Our edges got closer and closer, punctuated by pauses as we considered the flexibility of our bottom lines, checking in with our minds and hearts until we met on common ground. Big hugs and smiles flew back and forth as a new Senegalese-American sisterhood was born...love beyond cultural differences, sister to sister, heart to heart, soul to soul. 

All week long the women peeked and prodded as the oven began looking like an oven. Little by little Aimee, Nabou’s daughter, could not help but get into the muddy straw mix with Gorgui, my handsome student I had met on the beach in Yene Kao. Love is so easy on a tarp mixing cob together, building walls, plastering side-by-side....the conversations become more open, flowing, and true when there is a secondary activity going on. Something productive, beautiful, and satisfying done in community creates a deep bond that is so innately needed by Humans everywhere. Here in Africa, women sit together to process and cook food, do each other’s hair, sell things. Men repair and sew fishing nets, fish, build, sew clothes, drum, gather and bunch straw for roofing, watch people go by, pray and of course everyone eats as one. Cob Building is very African in that way and works well in Africa where it comes naturally, but really everywhere. After all we are all Human Beings, though some of us more individualistic than others. But even the individualistic societies love togetherness, for a defined and limited purpose, after which they like to go back to their solitude to reflect. So in the end the Cob Build works for everyone.
Everywhere Viva and I are travelling there is interest in cob. Here an oven, there compost toilets, here a house, there a bungalow. We could be working full time at each stop. I am really enjoying seeing Viva blossom here. Whenever he is invited to share a meal he jumps in like an African, and even prefers the communal meal to the individual plates now. He reaches out to say “Nangadeff” with a handshake, introducing himself to anyone he crosses paths with. As we bike by he yells out “Bonsoir” at any time of day. He doesn’t even mind being surrounded by endless throngs of little people anymore, figuring out creative ways to break up the dynamic of “Toubab, Toubab, donne moi de l’argent...” and all of its variations. Now it’s me that steers the other way lest they all come running my way. 

Three days on the Palmarin coast were the peak of our “vacation”. Almost total solitude day after day, with a closed Eco-Resort nearby for showering and drinking, we had the whole beach as far as the eye could see to ourselves 99% of the time. Nude swimming

and sunbathing at our leisure. We barely ate as our lives had come to an easy halt and we dug into the Vision Quest lifestyle. On day 3 we stopped talking and interacting, intentionally creating a bubble of personal timelessness to wallow in without needing to do anything for anyone but ourselves. I love and cherish those days. Sleeping in and in and in, prolonging the dreamstate, stepping out into the sunny day at the slothful hour of 11am, guiltless and free. No-structure day. Hiding out in the tent and wiling away the hours at my own pace and desire. I love those days to nurture and rebirth my Soul. Let the creative juices flow. Love Myself. 

Day 4 and it’s back to the regimen: wake up, pack up and go. As usual Viva is already packed before I even step out of my tent. I peek out to the sound of the tarp being shaken out. Will I ever be ready first? How much of an effort am I willing to put out. How important is it to me? It is the eternal conflict between travellers, the early risers vs, the sleep-ins, the timely schedule vs. the play-it-by-ear, the 5-hour straight ride vs. the multuple stops, the map users vs. the intuitive flow which includes new acquaintances pulling us here and there. Viva and I try to find a middle ground after another fight on the beach. We will do my time one morning and his time the next. Meaning I have to make an effort to pack it up right away and he has to make an effort to wait patiently. The cool thing about travelling with my son is that we can continue working on our relationship and growing as mirrors without it being an intimate thing. The other side is that everyone thinks he is my husband or boyfriend and so I don’t get to shmooze as much. But on the other hand I don’t have to deal with the unwanted shmoozing and can pick and choose. 

So off we ride along the beach and then into the roadway. Long red dirt road with the usual washboard sections I try diligently to move away from. The houses on each side get bigger and bigger and are clearly Toubab creations. We even pass by an Organic Farmstand with basil, cucumbers, eggplant, lettuce and tomatoes. A young dreadlocked French couple has created a paradise homestead here on the peninsula between the open ocean and the Sine River. A greenhouse harbors giant-leafed tomato trees, basil, cukes, lettuce....California-style. I have never seen such healthy green vegetables since I have been here. Jean-Dominique explains that after trying every possible organic solution to the nematode issue here, in which the critter attacks plant roots at an early stage, they have had to create an artificial environment with a concrete pad underlying their own man- made soil mix. I am impressed. Leave it to the Toubabs to recreate their Paradises everywhere. 

It’s still dark out and my rooftop sleep in an apartment complex on the island of Nodjor is rudely interrupted by yet another Imam. A million rooster fans cheer on as the thundering male voice imposes Islamic prayers at 5am. Each place we sleep affords a surprise as to wake-up call, duration, loudness, loudspeaker quality, aesthetics, etc. Palmarin’s mostly Catholic bent meant that we were left free of the early-morning imposition which now, in 99% Muslim Nodjor, swings to the other extreme. The day begins now with a cool crisp 60 degrees at 7:30AM, not a typically-expected West African temperature and very enjoyable, especially for eary-morning exercise. 


Man-woman relations here are a mystery. Just as affection is not shown between man and woman, none is shown between humans and animals either. Donkeys and horses are whipped constantly into action even though the animals do nothing but serve. Sometimes they are loaded with unearthly burdens of concrete bags or sand mountains and asked to pull them through the sand to no avail. In these moments aside from the whipping I see the humans collaborate in helping the donkey out as they all push and pull together in team action. Yesterday young boys raced their donkeys through the palm tree alleys screaming “Atcha, Acha!” Unless tied up, the animals roam around human-like as part of the community. They are left to their own avail to find food and just hang out. The dogs especially seem to not belong to anyone as they serve no function except to protect and defend, which is more a need of the wealthy. The dogs roam in cliques and will often run the beach, sleep, have sex, find food, bully others and live their dog lives on their own, independent of human support. The sheep and goats also fend for themselves. Lucky for them they can feed on garbage heaps, especially paper. I heard it’s the glue that they are addicted to in the cardboard and paper but I guess there is a fibrous element too. Makes it hard to want to eat their flesh. 

Everywhere we arrive there is a need for our services. Ovens, compost toilets, non- smoking stoves, cob houses. It seems the Third World needs these elements badly. Well maybe not the ovens where there is little fuel, but perhaps the work is to develop a solar or solar hot water-fueled oven? I am sure people are working on that somewhere. Everyone wants their own ovens anyway. It’s kind of a human romantic need to be able to cook your daily bread at home. Sell pizzas. Cook a whole sheep till it’s tender. Or your crying baby. Hahaha. Babies don’t cry much here as they are always on someone’s back with their head resting on the back of the Heartbeat. I hear that the Mothers carry them behind to protect them from evil spirits and evil people. While the Senegalese are such kind, generous and seemingly happy folk, they also harbor an innate fear of evil and live by superstitious protective actions daily, most notably wearing the grigri belt of talismans around their waist under their clothes. Babies wear them on wrists and ankles as well. A string of small hand-sewn leather pouches filled with Marabout-chosen and blessed plants, natural objects, prayers, this is the one ubiquitous item you can be sure to find on everyone regardless of creed. This is the Animist thread that binds them, “underneath” the surface. I wonder if the slaves in the Americas wore them. 

So the women fetch and carry the water on their heads daily for the whole family, fetch the wood for cooking, make the fire, buy the food, cook the meals, clean the dishes, wash the clothes, take care of the children and, when they are done, take care of their own personal needs. The men somehow find money, give it to the wife to buy food, wood, clothing and sometimes water, and sit around talking, smoking, watching TV, beating on the drum and having sex with one or more wives. What’s wrong with this picture? Aisatou told me that her nails are falling off and her eyes hurt from all the smoke in the kitchen. The ADJA monosodium glutamate-laced bouillon cubes they use in every meal here burns holes in your sotmach, gives you headached and most recently I learned fucks with your feet. Yet they do not know how to cook without it since they started using it 10 years ago. They feel their meal will taste bad. It gives a very salty and spicy flavor to everything. Many Europeans have told me they get migraine headaches from it. 
 
Viva and I spent the night on a deserted barrier beach island that we were rowed to by Seydou and his buddies for 3round trip. Once again we were launched into a Vision Quest as a result of conflict. Viva, in his usual mopy pouty way when he is not happy, refused to talk. Off he walked towards a large shade tree to begin once again setting up camp with what was available. Here we go again. I wondered how long his grudge would last this time. Our old dynamic is slowly dying out as we get closer and closer to nipping it in the bud. Meditation is the key. That mixed wih compassionate communication, the answer to everything. When I am done with this journey I will focus my work on either Poop, Plastic or Communication...or all three. I will have gotten a good idea of what I feel is most needed in the World. 

This morning the sound of women woke me on this deserted island. The tide was at its bottom and they were able to walk over through the shallow water to perform their oyster- picking income activity. Laden with a tub on their head and a long rod with a metal loop on the bottom, they walked in file in the shallow water dressed in a variety of colorful long hand-me-downs. Sometimes it’s so cute to find “University of Wisconsin” or “I’m with Stupid” T-shirts on these unbeknownst Senegalese who continue to use the giveaways from somewhere far far away. I wish I could speak with them in their language. What great stories we could tell each other. For now it’s just LOVE through the eyes that connect us for a moment in time. 

After wiling away the morning hours hungry and timeful, we anxiously await our young piroguier Seydou on the mangrove shore. One pm for him could be 2pm. Darn. The sun is beating down and as I call him a third time this morning, Viva points to the edge of the blue pirogue making its way around the corner. Yes! The two young short muscular lads paddle us to the other side, only 200 feet away and against the current and wind. They will make $3.50 for both trips, going out and coming back. As we near the opposite shore they are pointed to somewhere in between the two groups of outhouses that stand tall on posts about 10 feet above the water and 20 feet out from the shoreline. Men are walking with their plastic multi-colored butt-washing tea kettles along the plank towards the makeshift metal-walled toilets. Viva and I are sickened. Why are they aiming the pirogue to the “poop beach” between the women’s and men’s toilets? Whose idea was it anyway to build toilets in the ocean where people swim and fish? The tide goes out and comes in and everything gets spread out and well, disappears to somewhere I guess. It’s surprising that people here are not ill from swimming in their feces. I feel sick. 

I think the Africans are the loudest culture, with no sense of the sound and bliss of silence. They do not value aloneness and quiet. Viva and I are in a 20-apartment complex in a wonderfully large corner room with light and windows and a second-story lookout view, for only $8.40 a night plus 3 meals for $1.68 each. Cheapest deal yet. However we soon find out why. The only TV for the whole complex sits on the backside of our wall where the dozen male schoolteachers eat and gather twice a day for hours, chatting away vibrantly as the TV blasts European soccer games in the background. The whole scene gets super lloud with people yelling, debating, shouting at the TV, bellowing, children crying, women shreaking in their high-piched Wolof and Serrer....and all of this happens at the sweet hour of our preferred naptime, after lunch. The schoolteachers have until 4pm and take every last minute in social time, where they get their rest and relaxation. My friend Elisa put it well. Some people get their energy from being alone and others from being together. Just as the TV is turned off and the last sounds trickle off, we look forward to some shuteye...”ALLAAAAAHHHHH AKBAAAAAAR, ALLLLAAAHHHHH AKBAAAAR, ALLAAAAHHHH AAAKBAAAAR!” 
 
The $1.68 3 meals a day plan in the end is quite appropriate. With a Continental-style bread, butter and jam breakfast to soothe our Western palate, we are just teased. Being on the bike trail the bread-based meal does not cut it. But the homemade bissap, bouye and sweet potato jams are unique and new. Anything new to our Africanized taste buds is very welcome. The bright purple bissap color is so appetizing and adds a bit of sour. We wolf down the morning fare and are left hungry. Where are the eggs? Cheese? Avocado? Beans? Rice? Lest we dream of a Mexican Eggs Ranchero breakfast....Our hostess Alimatou is an African European. On the outside she is a devout Nodjorian Muslim woman. Inside she is a fully-educated European with her laptop and busy schedule running around from meeting to meeting in search of her next batch of “development” funds that will sustain her pro-active life here in Senegal. Who knows the actual path of the funds that are earmarked for this developement project and that group, etc.? With us she has cut us a “good deal” because we are “helping” her country. She is clearly used to working with development workers and knows the value of connections. Her own university studies were financed by American and European friends who saw her potential. She is utterly grateful and knows how to make us feel comfortable. The down side of having an intellectual female hostess is that she is not a great cook. As a matter of fact, today she was too occupied to make us food and had her daughter hand-deliver the lunch which was made at her parents’ house. Viva and I had been practically fasting for the last 24 hours on the deserted island. We felt pretty famished and excited for some good Thiebou Djen. Spoons in hand we sprang up from our beds at the sound of light knocking. It was Yatou’s small ten-year old hands bringing us the silver platter from grandma’s. We invited her to share with us but she refuted. She said she had already eaten. No worries. More for us. We sat down on the floor with excitement at eating some lunch and ready to dig in. As Viva revealed our lunch, our taste buds died a little bit. As a matter of fact they went a bit numb and soon it was a toss up between having some food in our bellies, which meant it had to pass by our tongues and mouths first, yeesh!, or possibly waiting for the next opportunity. White room temperature rice with what looked like 4 Tablespoons of a dirt-colored sauce, 1/8 of a potato in one corner and 4 more Tablespoons of fried onions here and there with no apparent love. One fish head and a whole fish of the sort with so many bones you cannot have a boneless mouthful even if you spend minutes cleaning it up. A dab of red tomato skin here and 3 tamarind seeds there. This was probably the worst-lookin’ and tastin’ meal of our whole time in Senegal. So what were we gonna do with it? No wonder Yatou took off quickly. Viva took three reluctant bites and gave up. He placed his bets on seeping his way into the schoolteachers’ communal platter. Spoon in pocket he made his way out the door, feigning interest in the soccer game on TV while keeping an eye on the meal to come. This was the first time that Viva would manipulate his way into a meal. He sat there despondently waiting to be invited in and tried to not look too desperate when someone did. I on the other hand meditatively and graciously continued eating mouthfuls of the rice convincing myself that it was not that bad. Mixing it and cleaning out the questionable unidientifiable tidbits and going to work on the fish flesh, I remained humble. Soon I had almost finished it all. My belly was satisfied at the expense of my taste buds. A few minutes later Viva entered with a huge toothy grin celebrating his success at sitting in on another tasty meal. They had fallen for his game. Well, I guess not “fallen” as the Africans are always happy to share food. That has been a blessing for our budget on this trip. We always know we can get fed. 
 
Child or sheep? Sheep or child? It is literaaly difficult to tell many times. Both are whiny high-pitched frantic yells that turn human and sheep heads. Today Viva and I are hangin’ low and chillin’ in our getaway pad harboring all our bike gear spread out wide all over the room. Tryin’ to recuperate ahead of time for our 4-hour red-eye pirogue journey tonight at midnight, it is impossible to get any shuteye. I have ear plugs in, a pillow wrapped around my head and ears and my arms tightly holding it all firmly against my ears. The mayhem is impossible to deter from entering my eardrums and annoyed head. In this moment I just wanna be gone from Africa. I am longing for Peace, Quietude and Tranquil Nature. I am longing for good food. Variety. Organics. Oil-less. Living here long-term may take years off of my life due to the oily, greasy repetitive ingredients. It’s tiring to have to say hello to everyone constantly. Perhaps I should use Viva’s tactic of minimal response signal. 

We headed out through the sand at midnight, Ibrahim giving my much-needed loaded Bike Friday some rear support as we made our way through the rarely quiet streets of Nodjor, headed to the midnight pirogue back to the mainland. We were told we had a 3-hour, 4- hour and 5-hour journey ahead of us to Sokone. When we arrived at the loading dock, all the best sleeping spots had been usurped by the regulars who were already asleep under their blankets, on their cozy rice bag mattresses well-prepared for the night ride. Oh well. At least we had Ibrahim with us who had alerted the Spanish-speaking captain to our bike cargo and for the second time we deftly unloaded all the gear we had just loaded onto our bikes ten minutes before. Our organized flow made it easier for the boatmen and within minutes the bikes, our gear and ourselves were all neatly packed into different sections of the pirogue. The long hull had a wide middle for the people and cargo and the staff stationed themselves on the front and back ends. I was astonished that there was no light on the boat for other nighttime water travellers to see. We actually would travel in the dark using only night vision for direction and protection. Viva and I snuggled ourselves between our bags and got cozy under the starry sky and perfect breezy airflow. The engine started up and, clearly, this would be our OM hum for the next undetermined number of hours. No way around it with earplugs, pillow, hands. Just surrender. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the coziness but did not sleep for a minute. Viva stayed on his Iphone the whole time. Before we knew it, we had arrived quietly in the night to a totally desolate harbour. 

We reassembled everything and luckily had hosts guiding us to our new headquarters for a day or two. Ibrahima had picked up his nephew Issa, the baker, on Bambugar Island on the way, as the unspoken plan was that he would come and do my cob training because Ibrahima could not. Everything had kind of just happened in a wordless way. They were now hosting us for two days and Issa would get a free training. All good for me. 


The animals. So the donkey, according to VIva’s research on Wikipedia, originates from Africa and is also known as the wild ass. The donkeys are humble and work their ass’ off (ha), it’s true. They carry merchandise, people, carts and all three of the above. The horses do too but I think the horses are more of a status symbol. Did you know that the mule is an infertile offspring of a male donkey and a female horse. Now that’s an interesting sight to behold I’m sure. The animals all roam around free, that is when they are not tied up on a short rope. They are part of the community of people. The donkeys have certain dark brown stripes on their grey stout torsos that differentiate them. The donkeys also have the most emotional outcry of all the animals except for the pig in distress. The donkeys are very social and when they see another donkey and they can’t approach it because they are working, the cry is deeply noticed. They are very expressive and often the only sound heard late in the night. They all seem well-fed in comparison with the often thin horses we see. Perhaps they eat more possible foods. Today I gave a donkey some love as he waited for his cart to be filled up. The owner took a photo of me. You don’t see that often here. Or maybe it happens in private.
My big moment today was turning a family on to how to make and apply an earthen plaster in ten minutes. With the same clay soil they used to make their bricks, they pestled the clay clumps into powder, sifted it through the strainer, added the moistened fresh horse poop, mixed by hand to the right consistency and voilà! I pulled out my handy-dandy plastic yougurt lid trowel, did a quick demo on the wet wall, and watched their jaws drop in sweet pleasure at the beauty and simplicity of my brown-green earthen plaster on their yellow cob brick walls. Enough bla bla bla. It’s the action that makes a difference. It feels very good to have something practical to offer that makes people happy and their lives easier. The degraded cement plaster on cob walls proved my point to them: no cement on clay please! I forgot to have the daughter try it, she seemed the most interested after the dad. I also forgot to document the whole thing because these are the key moments of satisfaction when there is a true trade of need. They gave us water when we were thirsty and we promised a plaster mix the next day. Now they can finish their plaster at anytime they choose, without the need to pay anything! We also learned that the Italians had come through and set up a cheese and yogurt training course here and left the women of the village with everytihg they need to mke their cheese and yogurt to order daily. It was spotless and well-kept. The products were out-of-this world. You have no idea how much
yogurt and cheese you can gorge down after not having it for weeks or months. Such pleasure!
The items of most need to better people’s lives here are: a smokeless cooking stove (women complain of painful stingy eyes), a compost toilet (to keep the water table clean and raw poop off the land), lessons in earthen building, organic agricultural techniques, solar panels with a battery, books, dental floss, toothbrushing and flossing demonstrations.
Back in Toubab
While it feels so good and exciting to be back on the road, the nomad gypsies free and wild in the African bush, making our way at the lowest cost possible ($1-$2/day)...it’s also amazingly relieving to be back in a stable living spot for a while. For the next 3 weeks we are privy to a 3-story modern “toubab” house with multiple terraces overlooking ocean and village and sunset. Like the chief of the village, we sit on our hilltop balcony perusing the locals elow going about their daily activities. We are in the house of a 70-year old Frenchman who is absent and has bestowed his fancy digs to Malick and Elisa, our young hosts, to do as they will. A little luxury is relaxing. Running water, power, beautiful lush green gardens separated by well-designed laterite rock walls, a gas-powered kitchen and a flush toilet all seem extravagant now. How quickly our reference points change! Viva is utterly grateful to have a place with wifi and armchairs and most of all books. Ahhhh, the comfort and safety of a filled bookshelf. But ohhhh the bummer of not reading French.
We settle in to a large and long-uninhabited room lined with red laterite dust. We are blind to it and see only comfort in the firm king-size bed, the shower, sink and wide ledges to pose our scrunched-up belongings ready to breathe and expand. But what pleases me most is the green vegetation, including little grassy enclaves, of the terraced backyard. Ahhh the sweetness of laying naked on the grass again. That is one of my little loves that is absolutely out-of-line here unless you are in a guaranteed hiding spot which is a challenge here.
The prayer call blasts into our ears at 5:30AM. We must be in the direct line of audibility from some Mosque. After 3 months I am still not immune to it but I do manage to fall asleep after it now. It can be quite beautiful if the voice and loudspeaker allow it. Such a beautiful way to start the day, and a reminder to those of us who don’t adhere to the Muslim etiquette. To have Spirituality so obtrusively present that you cannot run from it says something about a country. Viva and I have pledged to meditate for each prayer call 5 times a day for 5 minutes. I mean really, not such a big deal. Right? After doing hour- long Vipssana sits 5 times a day for 9 days....come on. Well we have not managed to keep to our word yet. I am convinced it would change our lives.
Joia Arrives!
I definitely feel blessed that a second son has trekked all the way to Africa to see and be with his Momma. Last night a wonderful open bedtime check-in through the mosquito
netting revealed his honest desire to see our relationship blossom during this time. He has grown so tall, so solid, and confident. An initial squabble like the old days left us both a bit sad and dissappointed that the old baggage was still there, but heck good wake up call to what our intention is today. My dream is happening every day in which I get to travel/work with my boys in exotic places. I am proud of Joia facing his edge right now by “taking” my cob workshop, never a high priority on his agenda...it is so hard for him to get down and dirty in the cob... he would rather sit back and write about his experience. But he has said he is ready to meet his challenges now. In more ways than one.
I hope I don’t have malaria. My head hurts and I had a fever last night. I had a headache last night too. The energy is so wild here, drumming and music channeled on the ocean winds right up to my room it seems every night till late. Then the early morning prayer calls come in at 5am. I don’t think the Senegalese sleep very much here. The couple whose store we are building during this workshop fight every night after midnight and loudly. The Senegalese husband Malick is one of those wild musician artsy types, like my dear ex, who cannot sit still for very long and needs to be out and about making connections and touching base with the world. He is very charming and also a yeller. I feel for Elisa his wife who acts as if nothing happened the next morning though I look at her with compassion. I’ve been there too. She is so in love at the cost of her self-care. So once again in search of a peaceful place to recover and repair...where? Africa is not so peaceful. So much movement and interaction constantly. It tires me.
I think I need a man. But I don’t want to finance anyone’s life. There are so many nice sweet men here but so helpless financially it could never work for me. I am also not into the big wigs from Dakar with their fancy cars and so on. And then of course my two sons are with me, like my body guards, making it very hard to hide away into romance. Here they fall in love hard and then you feel obligated to pay for everything. Alot of women don’t mind but I do. I’m not into it. I want someone I am on an equal footing with or at the least someone who isn’t only thinking about their financial rescue.
SLEEPLESS IN TOUBAB
Fifteen months on the road and I have only made 6 countries, twice around. After Cabo Verde I gotta get a move on. I will be more than halfway through my 3-year journey and a whole Planet to see still. Heck I may just beeline to Cuba and el Caribe and start my final project building my own Cob Village and my own Cob Landing Pad no holds barred.
Still in Senegal. Tonight no sleep happening. I don’t like these nights. They reveal my inner restlessness and lack of control. I need sex. Softness. Change. Letting go of the harsh facade, the masculine energy, the director, manager and controller. I need to be alone now. No boys. And be la mujer. Cabo Verde brings it out in me. I am feeling like I can only handle 6 more workshops. Getting tired of building for others. Soon I turn 52. I should be with my Mother. My third son. Now what?
CASHEW STRUGGLE ON THE ROUTE NATIONALE
Early morning exit from Toubab, we were able to get a ride from a very quiet schoolteacher, Aziz’ brother, who speaks perfect English but barely utters a word until it comes to politics. Then he explodes. The Senegalese are pretty aware of their national politics, despite illiteracy and small village life. It seems they all get the news somehow, either radio, TV, word of mouth and, rarely, the newspaper. Our ride kindly dropped us off in the center of downtown Dakar, wished us good luck, and drove off to his tutoring job. Our schedule for the day included a little walking tour through yet another 3rd World City, a boat ride to Gorée Island checking out the old colonial architecture and the slave shipping post that changed colonial hands over and over, Yellow Fever and Typhoid shots, a big 24- hour everything-you-want- to-find-and-more Market, and a rooftop music bar. One of those days completely the opposite of chillin’ on the beaches of Toubab Dialaw. Just powerin’ through.
The event of the night was the cashew struggle on the highway. Senegalese vendors are everywhere. All over the world you find them trying to push something on you at twice or thrice the value. They love the negotiation game apparently and it tires me out, personally. I miss the good ol’ Western world of straightforward prices. Anyway, here we are in a scary rundown taxi on the highway at night made even worse by a scary taxi driver who is intentionally driving between lanes the whole time until I yell at him and he laughs. We slow down and up comes a cashew vendor to the window. Longing for nuts beside peanuts, I shout out at him “Nyatala? Nyatala?” “How much? How much?” He answers: “2000”. Knowing the price of the cashews I begin to do the exchange until the taxi driver has a freak attack saying it should be 1000. He begins to yell back and forth over me with the cashew vendor as we are rolling along the slowing highway. I keep trying to give the vendor the money telling him it’s OK, the price is right, but he won’t accept this. He is 100% sure that the cashew guy is trying to rob me because I’m a Toubab and is getting VERY angry to all of our surprise. Suddenly we are all three holding onto and tugging at my 2000 CFA note which is about to be torn in three ways. I finally have to take a stand and raise my voice at the taxi driver and tell him to STOP and gice the poor struggling cashew guy his money and take my nuts. The driver is seething. I tell him once again that this is the right price and he still resists my words and that’s that, until he starts driving like a lunatic again with all sorts of disturbing sounds emanating from his junky vehicle. Well that’s what I get for taking the cheapest bid!
Back at Fred’s, our home away from home in Dakar. Our first friend who greeted us at midnight at the Dakar airport and escorted us to a warm bed and hot shower. Like old friends, we fall into his home with comfort. Marianne is happy to see Viva again and exchange language lessons. Joia is now in the picture which adds another alchemy. Fred and I still have that spark that ignites juicy conversations about anything. The pool games begin and I am feeling excited to see Zeca again and anxious about leaving the boys to their own adventure in Africa. At the same time I am stoked to have some separation Claudine time again.
 

Fuerteventura (Canaries), Tangier, Tarifa & Portugal-August-November2015

Transition: Cabo Verde to Fuerteventura
July 31, 2015
Day of the Full Blue Moon I am completing my time in Cabo Verde. I arrived on the New Moon, so perfect. I love that I am getting to “know” these parts of the world so that the small shapes and dreamy names on the map now have a heart-felt meaning for me. I can see them, hear them, smell them, feel them and share about them with others who have never been and with their locals when I meet them abroad. Now when someone tells me he/she is Cabo Verdian, I will immediately switch to Portuguese and better yet Kriol, throw out a few greetings to surprise them, and then ask them which island they are from. I love knowing the World, not to mention the World’s languages. But right now, my Wolof ain’t holdin’ up too well after being gone for 6 weeks.
Transitioning from Africa to Europe only a few hours’ flight away. I have to thank God for helping me get through all the challenging steps to getting my bike and overweight bag onto the plane, and for free, I hope. When I got to the airport, a full 2.5 hours early, which is a first for me, somehow I still ended up running chaotically to the closing gate, the last one on the plane. I did my duty of packing the bike in one of Reinhard’s long skinny cardboard boxes that I had to cut down the middle in order to get the bike in, and all of the rest of the lightweight checkin stuff into my giant soft black bag and weighed it all (though not in the box) and was exactly at 37 kilos, the llimit with the bike included. I was prepared, but the box was going to tip me over. This is Cabo Verde...will they notice?
Well yes they noticed AND they didn’t know what to do. They had no way of taking my money and told me I had had to pay online for the bike and the overweight bag. How? Just tell them it’s 37 kilos and they will take my word for it or what? Nobody had an answer. They sent me to the supervisor. The whole line of people behind me wondered what was in my awkwardly duct-taped long skinny box. I was still taping it as I stood in line. Only me. My children would be grateful they are not travelling with me. I think it would all make a good movie though. I wonder if I will ever change to being one of those cool, calm, collect, super-oganized traveller with one tidy roller carry- on suitcase with a pull handle and a small handbag. I am always so envious of those effortless professional travellers and happy to not be doing whatever they are doing. The only way to be having my adventures has to include airport hassles.
I am having trouble letting go of the spell of my loving lusty passionate youthful happy week with Zeca. Somehow, like Baye Ass, my Heart was touched by this young simple kind happy Being that loved me hard. He fell in love within seconds, professed passion and desire to have me in his life forever to create eternal bliss together, and so on. For days we would just stare into each others’ eyes and he would have this special Zeca expression I will never forget. His uneven eyebrows would float and move above his eyes, which were soft and poochy, and his mouth would go through all these motions as he would softly shake his head from side to side saying: “Doido... Doido...Que beleza...Voce meu amor...” ... “Crazy...Crazy.... What a Beauty...You are my love...” At 51, it’s quite a high to be so wanted by a 28-year old handsome sexy thing who is more together and intelligent than most of his compatriots on this homey island of São Nicolau. Zeca has a style about him that is irresistibly sexy, not to mention his sexual/sensual arts. He would just flip on a cap backwards, a random sleeveless button down shirt with some surd shorts and flip flops and I felt weak in the knees. Of course I held out diligently the first few days, playing hard to get with just enough give that he knew I was interested. This was my first time doing this with someone I was really into and of course it worked beautifully. Oh the omnipotence of a resisting partially- interested lady. Four days into our magical backcountry escapade the bubble burst with excitement and passion that did not quit until few days before my departure. Our bodies and desires harmonized more than I have with most of my past lovers. What glee! I felt changed from the inside. Loved and desired day in and day out. If only I could have held out longer, perhaps things would have turned out differently, or not. We only had the ten days together, but in the last few days I felt something shift, and to this day, a week later, still have no clue what or why.
My experience with Zeca was beautiful food for my Soul, my Heart and my Body. I went with his flow and let go as much as I could into moment-to-moment existence. It was alot of fun. I felt 28 again, or rather 23, the age I was when I met and fell in love with Jan. But the fact that the last kiss and hug would be the last time he would communicate with me of his own accord has wreaked havoc with my little Claudine. In our last conversation when I called him from the plane as it was about to take off from Praia, a final effort to hear his voice and see what’s up...I heard him emotionless, distant, almost uninterested. I had just texted him to call me and he had not. I led the way one more time. I was incredulous that this BIG LOVE that turned me upside down and inside out for ten days....was just done. Since my departure he has made zero effort to contact me. He said the smartphone made him tired, he did not understand it, he did not like it and wanted to return it. I told him how sad I was, to which he responded “Don’t be sad.” I wanted to know the Truth, and either he was telling me the Truth or could not, for cultural or personal reasons. This man is a Giver and Caretaker of others, in priority his whole family, and lastly him. Now someone else was there to equal him and so the dance had to change. But I was leaving and we did not have time to figure it out. Had something of this sort happened to him before? HIs mother had spoken about an Italian woman who loved him but came back with her husband. Was he just sad to be left behind and so was lessening the pain by distancing himself? Or did he feel hopeless that I would really come back? Or was he just not interested anymore? Or was it a question of money? Seeing I was not going to buy him out? It sure didn’t seem like he was much of a materialistic guy according to what I experienced. It has been REALLY hard to just not know and not be able to communicate with him. To just let it go. But that is all I can do, what I must do, an old pattern returned. It hurts. I am needing to rise up in my Power and not take it personally. And cherish the moments of JOY we had. Besides the photos say it all, as all the Facebook comments revealed. Two happy people. I will be back Zeca, but for now it’s back to “Europe”.
Fuerteventura....again!
The Canary Islands are politically part of Spain, yes, and most people speak Spanish perfectly, and you can camp and sleep anywhere safely and you can be naked on the beach with noone looking at you hungrily. That part is very cool. More relaxing. It’s nice to just relax into fearlessness. It’s also nice to see my old “new” friends again, the community I built here in March around the cob workshops. And of course to see the cob building and oven again, still standing strong. They are all happy to see me.
I pledged to take a technology fast during the two weeks of the Cob Workshop & Build, copying Zoe, a Facebook “friend” who I barely remember, after seeing her post. She was taking all of August off of the internet, a yearly ritual, and I know that’s what I need badly. It didn’t last more than a few days for me, mostly because of organizational issues with the El Molino crew who were MIA. The monthlong cob workshop in Tarifa is still at a small 4 participants with only a month to go, and El Molino de Guadalmesi is in the midst of a hectic 28-day Community Living Training, the last week of which is in silence. Three weeks have gone by with no response to my emails. Help!
Ahhhhh, Fuerteventura (“strong winds”), I have begun to feel at home here despite the lack of black skin and good music. A good place to chill, have an easy life, do your work, and play alot. There’s alot of brown desert-like flat open space that allows an ocean view from my friend Sylvain’s house a km inland and up only 15 feet above sea level. He can see the whole northwest to north coastline and what the wind and waves are doing from morning to evening, which is his full-time hobby. While he owns the small 1-acre plot of land, the two adorable rock houses he has built on the non-buildable land are illegal and at risk of destruction on any day the Building Department chooses to implement the law. He is in a wilderness area of hard clay and rock with very few wild creatures, mostly rabbits and birds. Luckily the two houses blend in with the land and take a hard squinty look to detect them. Sylvain is a rock expert and thus builds walls and houses freelance and teaches kitesurfing for a living. He lives day to day and loves his mellow stressless existence. He is the one who spent 6 weeks hoisting mega volcanic and other heavy beautiful rock
brethren into a gorgeous organic random framework to hold the cob walls I came to build. He likes to work alone and is quick and precise in his moves.
After a few days recuperating at Valeria’s from my São Nicolau love affair with Zeca, who, I would have to clearly accept, I would not be in contact with anymore...I put good old Bike Friday together again, loaded her up, and was on my way up and down the rolling roads of Fuerteventura’s wild open space to Miltiades’ organic farm where the week-long workshop was going to be held. A lovely bike ride...it felt so refreshing and exciting to be back in the saddle again and pumping my legs which had done way too much walking on cobblestones in Cabo Verde. The soles of my feet had started to ache severely in the middle of the night and upon waking, feeling all hard and stiff until I started to stretch them out. This was a new sensation and, I think, due to all the walking on hard rock with poor shoes. I am definitely meant to be a bike traveller and not a backpacker.
I arrived at sunset to a very pleasing rock outline for the cob work to come over the next two weeks. I have to say I have not often seen such aesthetically-pleasing rock work with unique and varied personally harvested rocks. They were collected over the last fifteen years from different parts of the island by Miltiade: green ones, black lava pock-marked ones, white limestone with striped, layered, smooth and textured surfaces. Sylvain deftly placed them with intention and aesthetics showing his many years in this trade. Any mortar was hidden with small chinkers tucked in between the large ones. To my surprise, however, the walls were 50 cm wide!!!! Normal cob walls have a 35 cm foundation and this was going to cost us “mucho trabajo”! Miltiade blamed it on Sylvain’s stubborness and non-familiarity with earthen building and Sylvain blamed it on Miltiades’ wishy-washy indecision. They had been best friends, a Pisces and a Virgo, over the last 20 years of their presence in this corner of the island. The two Frenchmen, goin’ it solo, both intense kite and windsurfers and peers. Each of them super into their own “new” mid-life career. Miltiade supplied Sylvain with basil for his pesto and other yummy produce while Sylvain gave him good deals on his hard labor. Now, the rocks that had lain in waiting around the conventional cement block half house for 15 years, waiting for this moment to become part of its 50m2 completion that had been started years ago...had come to life as a structure thanks to the collaboration between the two Gallic brethren.
Miltiade’s preferred style, as I learned in the short time we have had contact, is to run around taking care of urgencies. This, as he has come to realize, is how he likes to live, without time to reflect and ponder too much. He loves his “Finca Bomilt”, which is big enough to make a living from, selling his crunchy giant arugula and salty spinach to the finest restaurants on the island at $5 a pound. His purple and yellow figs were all coming into their peak time, plump and sweet. I set my tent up in the midst of the fig field and went at it a bit much the first days, with my bowel movements sending me clear messages of overdose. Beets, chard, lettuce, kale, onions, basil, squash and melons were his produce of choice. In addition to figs, there were a half a dozen small pomegranate trees bending under the weight of a few bursting fruit. And in the next field over were his prize aloe vera plants, sitting sprightly and proudly like soldiers in perfect rows. Their beefy sword-like leaves withstood the searing sun and relentless winds from the northeast.
Biomilt’s farm was set up to protect his vegetable babies from the crazy wind the island is known for and which is also the source of most of his energy, along with a 2KW solar array. He has rigged everything so as to live productively and self-sufficiently....by himself. Born and raised in Morocco with Greek and French heritage, he has chosen little quaint El Roque, only a kilometer from the Atlantic waves, to spend the rest of his days being one of the few organic farmers here. And now his two children Loïc, 23, and Anaïs, 27, have re-taken residence in their rooms after living away from the island for years, in support of the unknown about to take place on the land on which they grew up. Irene, Miltiades’ “best friend”, has also slowly woven her way into his life, his room, his bed....for the duration of the workshop. Unfortunately because his room is the only way to get to the kitchen, they will have minimal privacy for the next two weeks.
Miltiade is excited. He has been wanting to finish his half house since he started building it a decade ago, but not with the same nasty cement blocks he used to get it up quickly. He has been
waiting for the right moment and the right person to lead the way. Our meeting at Valeria’s place in March, as I was teaching and building, was the catalyst for organizing the one-week workshop which would bring in the labor free of charge and the second week of building with volunteer/ students who wanted more experience and knowledge. Knowing he is a Virgo gives me peace of mind. While he appears to be an Air sign with a hint of Fire as he runs around putting out one fire after another, the fact that he does it promptly and efficiently in a good-natured and calm way reveals his Earth energy side. He is clearly organized with his piles of materials, test bricks done and clean work space. He is ready and willing to buy the remaining tools needed and has a very open mind to possibilities. I like working with him and feel relief at his rare-to-find-in-a-cob- homeowner steady state free of moodiness and unpredictability.
However, what I really really appreciate and missed about this place is the freedom to be naked anywhere. In fact it is a Spanish law that allows nudity on all beaches. How friggin’ cool is that. The one long swimmable beach is only a 10 minute bike ride away and hosts kitesurfers, windsurfers, surfers and beachgoers, naked and clothed. I like to set up camp in the round black lava rock “bunkers”, baring my coconut oil-slathered ass to the sun peacefully. No worries about peeping Tomás’ or Mohammeds. Wherever I end up living needs to have acceptable nudity, which means European or northern Californian influence or indigenous communities.
In my few prep days the goal is to figure out the final mix we will use to build his addition. While some tests have been made by my former student and work partner Fabrizio, I am not satisfied. After stomping and rolling many a cob mix I let the hands do the guiding. So far the tests have consisted of different proportions of the fine red clay with the rough large “picón” granules which come from lava rock. While it has some powdery component in it, it just does not cut it as sand and there is clearly a need for something in between these extremes. This is what I love about my nascent traveling cobber profession, I get to experience all different kinds of clay soils, sands and fiber and have to figure out mixes which sometimes can take some trial and error. The consequence of not taking time to do the testing, including for the plaster mixes, is not good for my reputation, as in Senegal when the quickly-made intuitive earthen paint mixes with local clays all peeled off a week later.
The workshop has grown to 12 folks for the weekend and about half of that for the remaining weekdays. Once again I have a great mixed crew of surfers, builders, bodyworkers, artists, office workers, artisans, etc. Day 1 is always a thrill as people get to roll up their pants and jump in the mud breaking out into large grins of glee. A 50 m2 space needs to be filled in to 2 meters high, in 2 weeks. Yeehah! My crew are hard-working and as usual there are the naturals and the slow ones. My personal work is patience with the slower learners to equalize the excitement I feel with the naturals. The Aries teacher must work on her compassion, and there is always one in the crowd that needs more of my energy and she worked me hard. Day after day I would show Ellen the way and mix after mix there was never enough straw no matter how she put it in. She tried all different techniques but the bottom line was that she did not like the palm trunk coarse straw and nor did she like like breaking it or stepping on it. I understand because this was not regular straw like the kind you find on the mainland. This was the real deal local palm tree husk. The very tough coarse crossed-fiber mesh encased in a hard-as-tough-leather outer woody husk. It was first broken up by a shredder and then had to be further ripped up by hand. Her hands were so delicate, only ever used for Reiki healing. What could be done?
This workshop was unique in that Meltiade, the farmer, was intent on using his machinery to quicken the process. The question was what and how. Every day Meltiade would awaken before sunrise and ready to start checking off his never-ending to-do list wavering between farming and cob tasks. The mechanical cob mix was always last on the list and. Ultimately there were two options: using the tractor to mix the dry materials by scooping them up and dropping them repeatedly and then running over the wet mix to compress it OR using the cement mixer to make the wet mix without straw and finishing up on the tarp. Method 2 was the final choice in terms of time, energy and quality, and when we finally got into the groove by the second week....it was impossible to imagine making a mix from scratch on the tarp anymore. By the end of the
workweek, the walls were 3/4 up and small areas of test plaster and test floor had been made to excite Meltiade for what lay ahead. I hoped I had given him and his volunteer workers including his son Loïc and daughter Anaïs enough momentum to wrap it up in another week of hard work for great food. The food is always of great importance in a cob workshop. As the owner is receiving free heavy labor in addition to payment for food, his main obligation, aside from having the materials and tools ready every day, is to make GOOD food and ENOUGH food. So far this has been the case at each of my workshops except one, when single momma of two small children Ana could not get it together to do more than sandwiches for the weekend. At least it was only for the weekend and only an oven’s worth of work.
I left Fuerteventura feeling I had accomplished my mission. Even though my workshops do not always finish walls or put on roofs, we work our asses off to get all aspects of cob and cob walls on, which is the bulk of the laborious effort. I hope the owners realize the incredible deal they are getting in such a short time. It is probably not until after we are gone and they try to finish it on their own that they do. It is important for me that they have a hand in it as well, literally, to own the building. Thus I maintain the owner-builder tradition of cob.
And now back to Tangier...again!
Pooped and ready to chill. With Yvonne. Somehow a contradiction. I was looking for one of those poetry terms for putting two things side by side that are in opposition. Juxtaposition? I lost three items during my 2 plane rides and one bus ride to get from Fuerteventura to Yvonne’s doorstep today: my beloved quart-size Kleen Kanteen metal water bottle, my beloved and long-labored over Spanish cob workshop posters (shit!) and a small bungee cord for holding my ukelele inside its case. I hate losing things and realize I need to PAY ATTENTION more and harder. I’m actually quite surprised at my inattentiveness to my few personal belongings I need to be responsible for. I used to be responsible for three travellin’ chitlins and ALL of our stuff including bicycles, a Burley, backpacks, and the boys! I must be tired and in need of meditation, food for the brain!
Back in Morocco if the cab drivers are trying to charge me double the regular price. And back in Morocco if when I tell them my Mom is Moroccan and sputter a few well-pronounced Arab words... they bow in respect, call me one of theirs, and imediately drop the price from 350DH ($35) to 200DH ($20). Ideally I would have a Mother in each country and speak just the necessary vocabulary to pull this off everywhere I go. And though Yvonne was born and raised in Morocco, she is not Moroccan or Arab or Muslim. And so when they tell me I LOOK Moroccan and Arab...I politely say “Shoukran” and smile, lest I lose my discount.
Once again my beloved bicicleta is safe and sound in a hefty bike box in the back seat of a taxi flying from the Casablanca airport to the CMT bus station in record time to catch my 2:30 bus to Tangier. I am in the front seat as a result and being conversed with in Arab and crappy incomprehensible French by Mohammed. I smile and say “Na’am, na’am” incessantly, confirming everything he says to his delight. I relax into chaotic Moroccan driver mode and am grateful it is Sunday lunchtime, probably the best time to pick to be in a hurry to get somewhere through the maze of Casablanca. I’ve actually never been here though Yvonne was born here. Five years ago during my Moroccan bike tour, I specifically avoided it as I had had come down with nasty food poisoning from eating street-cooked sausages (baaaad move) and decided to hop on the bus for the El Jadida to Rabat stretch, thankfully ignoring Casablanca, the densest city in Morocco.
Mohammed got me there in the nick of time. My stuff was swept up by the luggage guys who passed it onto the baggage counter where I was made to pay another $22. I was stoked with my $15 bus ticket and of course did not take into account the $20 cab ride and the extra luggage charge. Still it came to a third of the plane ticket plus taxi I would have needed to get to Yvonne’s place, not to mention potential bike fees.
I love long bus and boat and train rides. Time to be in between places, nowhere land, to transition from there to there and just rest. I definitely need rest, in particular sleep. Now I am back in Muslim land and just seeing the women all covered up in their scarves and long heavy dresses makes me sweat. I am even sweating in my long shorts and tank top. I hunkered down in my two seats as best I could and closed my eyes, praying for sleep. I was really hungry. For the first time ever perhaps (my boys would be proud of me), I had no snacks, no healthy bites and had bought a plastic water bottle. No choice. I lost my best friend, the Kleen Kanteen that had kept me hydrated through all the kilometers, nights and days and workshops. I pretended I was fasting, which I’ve done regularly throughout my life, and switched my mindset.
I had to pee really badly. The schedule had said that the bus had a food stop halfway. I decided to approach the bus driver, Mom-style, and ask when he would be stopping ‘cause I had to pee really badly. He said another 40 minutes. It seemed I was bothering him but truth be told we had been going more than half the distance for a while. One hour later I was back in the front, pushing him to fess up that he had not stopped in fourty minutes and now complaining of hunger along with the need to pee. “Fifteen minutes,” he replied. Was he playing with me? I mean this guy should know his distances and times. The Moroccan veiled woman behind me offered up a banana. I took it. Could have been worse.
When the bus finally pulled off the exclusive fancy highway with toll stops every 15 minutes, I thought we were in the US mid-West for a second. Everything was written in English. It was a big giant reststop fast food place, toilets, and snacks, all in bright neon colors with a staff of ready-to- help-you Moroccans in matching uniforms. Time to adjust to Morocco again. New language. New food. New money. New appearances. New male behavior. I decided on a safe bet: a panini with pesto and tomato and lettuce, fresh-squeezed orange juice and a dessert. I was quite hungry. I sat on the curb and ate, oblivious to all, until I could not be anymore because I was being stared at and approached. I surely did not miss the staring that these Third World countries tend to bring us poor White Westerners that just want space and to be left alone.
When the bus finally arrived in Tangier, I had no idea where I was with regards to Yvonne’s place. Well at least I had been here before and was somewhat orientated. I quickly reconstructed my baby in the bus station ignoring the Arab eyes staring again, and with some vague directions rode off into the night. Slowly but surely I would arrive, even with my headlight out of juice. Prayer alone works, along with staying aware. Three hundred and sixty degrees’ worth. The stares are tiring but I also enjoy waking the men up to new possibilities of womanhood in their narrow mindsets.
I have to say the whole veil thing really pisses me off. It is so unattractive in my eyes and why are the women all hidden while the men roam exposed, well most of them. Why is their hair not covered? It looks so hot and stuffy. I had a long talk with a new friend Karima, a well-educated energy-filled open-minded Moroccan woman who has lived in England and speaks several languages well. She is a teacher of religions by training and we hit it off immediately and non-stop. She is the wife of Fouad, the acupuncturist who patiently administered needles to my ADD-affected mother in January, when her hip hurt. Karima and I have the Earth in common, or rather love of the Earth. She is immediately taken in by my Cob Mission and has rallied her husband to buy land in the countryside so she can build her own oven. She wants to come to my cob workshop, as long as she can wear her long dress and scarf. I love these types of women who have so much life energy and are fearless, disproving what their appearances may convey. Karima speaks to her scarf and how it protects her from sexual thoughts. At least that is what she thinks.
Her husband Fouad is the only acupuncturist in Tangier. Trained in England, and a fully-licensed Western medical doctor as well, he has decided to spend the remainder of his retirement days treating locals with needles, his passion of choice. Charging a mere $10-$20 for an appointment, his mission is to make it accessible to all, even the country folk. Fouad treated my impetuous 76- year old mother for her imaginary hip syndrome. He was the most compassionate healer, man and
individual I have yet seen deal with Yvonne. Her first appointment in the shared treatment room would have scared anyone away. Not so with Fouad. Each poke was followed by a scream and anxiety-filled comments. Fouad stayed calm. Each time he left her to “rest” triggered her into a panic attack after a minute. I felt sorry for the woman on the other side of the wall. I later saw that she was not bothered at all as the Moroccans, like the Africans, enjoy socializing and drama. As a matter of fact, they ended up chatting away through the wall which helped Yvonne to distract from her needle-filled body. For the next several months Fouad treated Yvonne despite her missed appointments, request for home visits, lack of payments and endless complaints during treatments. He took care of her as his own Mother, who had passed. I was thankful for this kind Man who impressed me beyond measure with his patience and sweetness. Sadly Yvonne’s eternal self- absorption blinded her to her good fortune. The end result was that something worked in effect to free her of the pain she had carried for months, though it was not clear whether it was the needles or the unconditional compassion exuded by Fouad.
As has been the case since time immemorial, the quality of my time with my Mother degraded day by day. I start out with loads of patience, love, flexibilty and peace. Within days her feisty negative sourpuss face in the morning extends till noon and her need to sleep late can go on till any time. One starts to feel invasive with even the lightest of footsteps and minimum presence. It becomes impossible to communicate naturally anymore as you have to constantly be on the lookout for attack. Obviously 51 years of historical baggage still lies in waiting for both of us. Years of the same exact situation replayed now, and only I have the potential to make a difference. I have already succeeded, when I focus my thoughts on her death, and wanting to have no regrets on what I could have done. I have pushed myself to my limits by professing my love to this woman who only knows how to push love away and reinforce her unloveableness. It runs so deep. I of course carry traces of this which my sons let me know when necessary. Thankfully I can hear it, handle it and hopefully modify it, but to do it sustainably is the key. Right? Durability, which is the word for sustainable in French. For now I need to use her as a mirror of gratitude for my progress. But also just plain old “Be Nice”. For the only reason being that she is my Mother. Mother Respect is Universal except in the Western countries, and especially lacking in the US. Yelling and cursing at your Mom is blasphemous in the rest of the world. It is a custom I must work hard on lest karma blesses me with the same destiny.
I tried my very best and was met with a disturbing outcome. My slowly diminishing DIrhams were not due to my forgetfulness. Beyond belief, I firmly accused her of stealing from my wallet. She had never done that to me. To my Brother yes. To my Father yes. But to her hard-woking eldest daughter and single mother of three boys who she admired and supported, never. Her initial reaction was offense. Once I had left her house, I knew it could only be her and insisted firmly again, but this time acting as if it was a done deal and offering up her option for making amends. Her following email was a slough of confused back-and-forth words wavering between offense, admission of guilt, promise of reimbursal, justification and anger at the accusation once again. She had gone Full Circle. But my tactic worked as she had revealed her sly little Self. Replaying the previous days in her house, I could not fathom when and how she could have pulled off her theft without me seeing anything. My things were not easy to access and I was usually close by and her 75-year old fingers coul not be nimble....or could they? The upside? I was reimbursed within a week. She knew what she had done was blasphemous and to keep her financial karma clean, she had best do the right thing. It was good to see that she had some morals left in that Gypsy Jewish Soul.
Viva Arrives!
A month ago my eldest son sent me a non-descript unexpected text: “I think I wanna come”. After months of refuting my invitations in the name of different interests, different directions and letting things flow as they flow...I was surprised at his sudden swing. I also knew that it was not a sudden swing but a well-thought out, meditated-on decision, carefully weighing out the pros and cons. Even after the text and my suppressed excitement, he still took time to be fully clear. I am glad he did because it feels so much better for me that the decision was self-generated. Almost a year
after my leaving Santa Cruz, Viva and I were reunited, walking the streets of feisty fiery Málaga, with all its boisterous bistros and eateries open late with bustling Malagueños who never sleep. Padrón peppers, cured goat and sheep cheese, olive oils, olives, all kinds of tapas, cañas, delicious helados and sorbetes lined the streets. Such a sensual city, so much happiness and joy, families strolling together every day, and everyone can afford a tapa and caña for $2. It’s a good place to heal and feel the potential of being a socialized Human.
Molino Madness
Our next stop took us down to Tarifa and El Molino de Guadalmesí. This cob workshop was destined to be mad from the beginning of its existence in the mouths of Claudine and Elena. All seemed flowing on the right path, well-organized and potentially a winner back in February and March when we got our first 4 signups, with 6 months to go. Then, the first downer hit. Roby, her partner’s, sister was dying of cancer. Young and health-conscious, her fate was very unexpected, leaving a young son and husband behind. They were no longer motivated to hold the month-long cob workshop on their land and would help me find another location. Very dissappointed I was, as their site was amazingly beautiful with good energy. But what could I do? I had to let go and open up to the unknown next steps and hope to find another comparable place.
WIthin a short time, Elena told me that her good friends Johnny and Alicia would take us in. They ran Molino de Guadalmesí, another ecovillage with progressive workshops, about 6 miles from the quaint old Moor-influenced city of Tarifa and right on the Mediterranean with a river running through. Within a few days we were on Skype together discussing things happily, as they agreed on all the agreements that were in place already with Elena, with a few extra more detailed questions about the foundation and their responsibility. Things were glossed over quickly (mistake #1) but most importantly they agreed to build the foundation before the workshop started, and help with the roof at the end. Johnny made some cool new flyers (his profession) and within a week we were on our way to a great workshop situation with already 4 students signed up and paid.
This would be our last communication for a while. Little did I know but these people would be entering a month-long Community Living training including vows of silence and other rituals that would keep them oblivious to the outside world, including me. Emails went out to them with no response for 2-3 weeks. What the heck was going on? Were these people for real? How would we have a workshop if they were not even reachable? How could students reach them if they were not answering my emails? I felt alone and angry at this non-collaborative behavior. Worried too for my students who were coming from the US, Australia and Canada!!!!
Three weeks from my last email I finally get a response from Alicia, the alpha female of the community. She apologizes for being out of touch, but they are super busy with their 28-Day Training and their system was hacked and so on and so on. She will make the changes on the website so that the workshop page is actually legible ( and not 8 or 9 font), she will actually list the workshop on the Events page and she will make important corrections to the content. Days later it still is not done. Weeks go by before my next email is answered. Again, they are now in a vow of silence and won’t be able to talk. Great! I am so angry at all of this and am beginning to feel a strong negative rage at this woman I do not even know, save for her Whatsapp messages laced with antipathy. Seems she is taking it upon herself to do all of the communication despite this being an intentional community of individuals.
By the time they are out of their 28-Day Course, we are still at 4 students. Nothing has changed because nothing has changed. These folks are not into it, not available, not doin’ a thing. She lets me know, 3 weeks before the workshop start date, that they will need ten paying students because they need their materials cost covered or they can’t do the workshop. Impossible. And they want to set up a cutoff date 2 weeks before the workshop which means we have one week to find 6 more people. I am both angry and scared, for my students are coming from afar and I need to hold this workshop no matter what! They, or rather she, has put me in a bad situation. It is unfair,
unprofessional and shitty. I do not like this and I do not like her. I state my intention to hold this workshop no matter what, to which her husband Johnny Azpilicueta agrees, as a way of moving the stuck energy forward to bring the students to us. She then proceeds to write a 3-option proposal which all sounds bad because the whole foundation of this situation is faulty. How can you change conditions of an agreement one-sidedly, at the last minute, because you feel like it? Bad karma.
And there, was the beginning of her karmic payback, unbeknownst to my consciousness. Johnny and I kissed on the mouth the first day we met. From there it was a love story unlike any other I have had. A gray-bearded, long-haired, strong and lean, Renaissance man of all talents I adore, acutely intelligent, and with big brown Basque eyes that looked at me with delight, every moment of every day of the whole month I was there. He joined the Course and abandoned his wife for the whole month. While it was not my plan, we ended up co-teaching the Course and dancing together for all to see, uninhibited, free, happy, blissful, playful and so excited. Passion is irrepressible. Love is helpless. We did not care....in the same way. Surrendered to LOVE every day. Our first daily glimpse was luscious. Our last daily glimpse was met with yearning. We learned and grew together in front of the class every day. His utter gentleness and compassion left me willing to grow, learn, change, accept everything he had to offer. We spent every moment together that he could, it seemed. She, the wife, was the ONLY person on the property completely oblivious to our passionate love.
One day her naïveté was over when I boldly shared my love for her husband with her. With the additional support of her sisters, she woke up to the fact that he was moving his sexual energy elsewhere, namely with late-night hair-playing and hand cuddling sessions accompanying heartful conversation. Those moments were the Infinite for me. I felt in love, high, complete...my partner playmate and workmate was here. The one who I can grow with. The one who SEES me and LOVES me no matter what. Unconditionally. Every day I wondered if this day would be different. And every day it got better.
His LOVE was always there for me. We only had to glance at each other to know how deep our feelings went for each other. Yet I had to hold my professional stance, being in the spotlight. Johnny and I had a myriad occasions and excuses to be together discussing the project, working together, and knowing each other. He has an irresistible combination of qualities: intellectual, musician, craftsman, builder, poet, teacher, leader, lover.
Needless to say Alicia began her downhill descent as she awoke to her husband’s extra-marital interest. While this payback was not intentional, I surely did nothing to stop it. It was so delicious and I believe in freedom to love, to express your feelings, to connect. Like Johnny. And thus I went with the flow and tried to keep my side clean of any overt actions that I could be blamed for and noone can control your feelings. Needless to say things ended unpleasantly and falsely with Alicia, who tried hard to clear the air on our last day, manipulating things so that Johnny would not be taking us to town and spenidng my last moments of delight with me. Unfortunately just the sight of her tight and anxious face combined with the history behind us made any bit of compassion impossible. I delighted in the jealous pain she was feeling for it required no effort on my part. It just was. And she could do nothing about it.
A Portuguese Surfin’ Road Trip
Once Xica, my youngest Lion arrives with his giant 3-board bag on wheels through the doors of the Lisbon airport, I am relieved, exhausted, anxious and so happy to see my 19-year old California surfer/DJ who has lived on hs own for the last 10 months. At least two inches taller and 10 pounds heftier, the boy is a man now. With his scruffy blond pubic beard (as he calls it), his backwards Santa Cruz cap and sporting the standard surfer baggy khaki DIckies on his buff German frame... the little boy smile remains the same one since he was 2. I have to admit that deep down I know he missed me, though my offer was hard to refuse: plane ticket, room and board, The World Surf League Pro Tour Event, a rental car and an oceanfront bungalow for 2 weeks followed by drifting
up and down the coast for 2 more weeks in search of good waves. My Leo loves to run the show and my plan clearly suits his desire to be the center of the plan. Thankfully his older brother Viva is a humble, quiet, surrendering Capricorn who is OK with not being the center of attention but rather giving it freely. He enjoys lavishing Xica with the respect and love that feed him and that he did not get enough of as a young boy.
This morning I got up at 6am, we started biking at 8am and stopped at 6pm. It was the last and longest day of our cross-Spain and Portugal bike race, 55 miles! It pushed me harder than my body really wanted, and beyond. By 4pm, I was in doing-an-Ironman mode, where you’re just going, running on empty, disconnected from yourself and all feeling. Numb. Way beyond any comfort zone or inkling of any pleasure anymore. Just mental power. Gotta get to your destination and it will all be over. Please help me God to not stop or die on the way and to just keep moving my legs and breathing. It was good to know that I was not the only one and that Viva felt the same way.
The flow was with us...or better yet....we were in the flow. As we rolled up to the ferry ticket window to purchase our 2biker fares, the dark-haired nervous ticket seller hurried us on to catch the boat that was about to pull out of the docks. We passed the line of automobiles to the front, smiling as we waited next to the familiar sound of an old Volkswagen Vanagon bungalow on wheels, packed with moped, surfboards, and all the goods. A German “D” license plate of course...owned by a young and experienced-looking nomad couple. We smile at each other, the knowing smile of “family”.
We proudly roll past all the impatient sputtering vehicles and onto the slime green ferry boat awaiting us...with utmost relief to get to sit for the next 15 minutes as we continue covering the kilometers that will get us closer to the fabled Lisboa that has been our big destination for the last 12 days. Numb from the hips down, overexhausted to the max, all food and any food and as much food as we want is fair game. These are the rewards and pleasures of the bike traveller at the end of the day: no limits on nourishing and non-nourishing food substances. A fully-relaxed body, elated with its accomplishment and power is also our joy, as is the pending approach to our goal, even if now it’s with ferry, train and metro. Noone believed we would do it, loaded as we were, even the experienced bike travellers. We even wavered in the last week on whether we would make it by our own means. Lisboa stood so close yet just one or two days more would have been perfect in terms of more pleasurable riding days and without the massive marathon on Day 12.
Xica was scheduled to arrive at 11pm and clearly we had plenty of hours for transition, downtime and time to get to the airport, rent my car and ease him into his first time in Europe with smoothness. Never would I have thought I would be rushing into the metro in the center of Lisbon at 11pm heading anxiously to the last stop on the red line, running the Metro stairs and escalator into a foreign airport and sprinting to the passenger exit doors in time to catch my bewildered son. At least I had showered, washed my locks and was wearing a nice new colorful sleeveless dress I had bought in March in Fuerteventura with new lime green sandals from Cabo Verde. The outfit was cute and made up for what I felt was my ghostly ghastly freaked out and exhausted countenance. Freaked out? When I asked them where the “Drive 4 Less” rental car counter was in the airport they looked at me with pleasurable and cold confirmation and told me that it did not exist. Excuse me? Was my whole reservation and payment a scam??? I beseeched them over and over. They wanted my voucher that I did not have, and not my confirmation number which was all I did have and of no use or interest to them. Despondent and desperate at this point, I sat on the railing with the other 100 people at the baggage claim exit doors scanning each passenger as they rounded the corner out of the restricted area. Great! Xica, my most demanding son, who will hopefully come out soon (it had been 45 minutes since he landed!), will be thoroughly exhausted from his 24-hour 4-stop frequent flyer economy plane routing and the rental car company does not exist. As I waited nervously my brain worked on the dilemma for a solution. There was none. I did not have a Portuguese sim card yet, the free airport wifi was non-existent, I had no phone number anyway and the metro would not be fun with his giant board bags. HELP ME GODDESS!!!!
Portugal is Old California
This country is peaceful, relaxed and healthy. They eat mostly their own food, unlike Spain, and small-scale agriculture is the norm. In between houses, buildings, villages, on the sides of the highways, along the ocean, small plots of leeks, cabbage, greens, onions, and garlic cover the landscape and the “mercado municipal” is run by all the colorful elder rural couples still workin’ the land. I wonder who will take care of the land next when this generation goes. Most of the young folk have fled to Lisbon and Porto where the “action” is. The villages are still inhabited, unlike Spain, but very few are folks under 40 or 50.
The coastline is chockful of never-ending rolls of beach breaks and Xica is ecstatic. “Oh-my-God... Oh-my-God, what is that LEEEEFT?” and “This place is SIIIIIICK!” Viva and I escort him from wave to wave, sitting on the beach and, like a meditation, keep our focus on his blond mane so we don’t miss a barrel, an air, or a reverse. Usually I always miss the best one of the day, or so he says. Hard as I have tried, I can’t get myself to really be into this sport. Honestly it seems a bit boring for the spectator, unless it’s Kelly Slater or Felipe Toledo or Mick Fanning, right? Even then it’s just the same old thing over and over. It advances slowly. I just don’t get it. It’s almost like a drug cause you just keep going back for the perfect wave, a better one, the best one.
Portugal is chill. So chill. Xica loves that he can buy liquor, drink in the car, smoke and grow weed and always find a wave spot. Oh and go 100 mph on the highways. Welcome to travellin’ with my youngest surfer dude electronic/rap music DJ son Xica, pronounced Jeeka. His name was inspired by Xica da Silva, the revolutionary prostitute and heroine of the Brazilian movie by the same name. It’s short for Francesca and his name should be Xico if we were gender conscious, but we weren’t. We just wanted a cool name for our third child who we hoped would finally be a daughter and when he wasn’t, kept it anyway. We got three boys with “girl’s” names (Viva, Joia and Xica) and the girl never made it.
My son and I have been butting heads ever since I put an end to his socializing with his 11-year old weed-smoking peers and best buds. I was the same age when I first tried it with my best friend Barrie Feld, whose millionaire mom had a closet dedicated to global weed strains. It was not my thing and just made me tired. Ever since, it still has never become my thing. Years of living with Jan, my boys’ Dad, inevitably led to more attempts at enjoying the herb just to share something he loved. From passing out to freaking out to being stoned for 3 days, and even to a recent hospital visit due to unknowingly eating 4 times more hash cookies than a normal person would thanks to the female renters I had cleared out who, when they moved out, forgot to take their frozen hash goods with them. Unbeknownst to myself, this Momma was stoked to find some good tastin’ “cookies”, and totally innocent to the nature of the elements I was ingesting. No no no! Sorry Xica, I don’t like it. Period. He is the spitting image of his Dad in every way, except that he is the youngest not the oldest of his siblings and is free of a heavy Schwarzenegger accent. He looks like his Dad and has the Leo party boy artist all-out energy, initiating all the newcomers into the drug world, which they both love so much. Only now, after a hellish 25-year struggle, Jan is done. He is now initiating AA newcomers into the world of Spirit and humble awakening and, to my recent surprise, yoga. I love Xica’s wild fire as he keeps everyone awake and entertained, and has a HUGE Heart of compassion for pain and suffering. However he also dominates energy wherever he is, almost sucking it up so that everyone focuses on him, and it can be really tiring. Memories of my marriage. And I know this is Leo.
We have been in a surf town in Portugal for three weeks. He is absolutely uninterested in seeing anything else, unless there are waves. Even going north to Nazaré can only be a round-trip day affair, enough for a good surf in the spot known for its GIANT 100-foot monsters that barrel in towards the Lighthouse..and then back to home base for the sunset. HIs brother Viva and he watch the sunset with a 40 oz. beer every day, on the 500-year old stone walls surrounding the fortress of Consolação, where the incessant series of pretty waves keep rolling in, painting a new masterpiece every day. They call it the Shlev. Sounds like their Yiddish strains are poppin’ out. An
opportunity for letting go of the day and moving forward into the evening with companionship and sharing. Many of my sons’ habits source themselves in rituals their Dad and I birthed when they were young. We instilled a strong connection to Nature and Natural Living, which includes nudity, especially on beaches, and sunset drumming.
While it is very special to see two of my three sons again and to get to relax with them in a cozy apartment on the Portuguese coast during the off-season, I have to readjust to not travelling solo. Like it or not I am back in Mom role, though their last few years of independent living show through. in particular in the kitchen and with shopping, cooking and cleaning. Bravo Claudine! I am super relieved that my kitchen duties are no longer. We are all on equal footing here, taking turns with everything. Only the money has yet to become equal and the work ethic improved. Growing up in Santa Cruz, the home of the chill life, has taken its toll on my boys’ willingness to sweat and put in grinding hours to make more money and grow a profession the long and hard way. Their motto is: work the minimum of hours needed to live and have as much fun as possible with LOTS of free time. Period. They don’t realize that while I wasn’t imprisoned in a 9-5 job, I worked my ass off on my own schedule with four different occupations. Of course they couldn’t tell because I was doing things I enjoyed, in my regular clothes and often at home. Somehow it all worked out and it continues to. One thing I notice about my boys, all three, is that there is a common theme running through them...they love the subject of human nature and personal development. They love health and well-being (Xica reveals this from time to time), food preparation, clothing and music, especially rap. With their very different styles, energies and elemental signs they come together and learn from each other well. I have Viva the earthy Capricorn, Joia the watery Pisces and Xica the fiery Leo. Et voila. They love each other deeply and enjoy co-creating and reviving childhood experiences around a campfire with alcohol and weed, as their Dad did. They are an interesting combo of a Jewish global puritan and a German model Aryan. Haha. Tough integration. My Dad couldn’t digest it and kept my family and I at bay....while he ran off with a Peruvian Catholic mamacita 20 years his junior. The irony and hypocrisy of family. What’s mine? My own addictions to moving, seeing, doing new stuff, keepin’ it fresh, keepin’ it forward-movin’, keepin’ it alive. New countries, new faces, new friends, new men, new projects, new vistas, new languages. The key word is....NEW! Ha, classic Aries I am. Give me the unknown, surprise me, open my eyes, wake up my senses...just once, not too many times, lest it becomes routine. Ahhhhh, but yes, how to maintain that momentum...without being on the road and travelling through space. Even this journey is about circling back again to where I have been to now teach the workshops I have organized and build the projects planned when the journey was fresh. Takes away some of the excitement for sure, but now the income is coming in, and that’s exciting too, watching my bank account go up as I travel. Most people’s bank accounts go down while they are travelling. Not mine, if I can keep these month-long family reunions to once a year, that is.
I am sitting at a beautiful sunny outdoor restaurant cafe on the Ribeira d’Ilhas Beach, the mecca for starter surfers, here in Ericeira. The music is really enjoyable right now, a mix of I have no idea what, but I could dance to it. We just ate yet another shitty meal that we have to pay $30 for. I am so tired of shelling out my hard-earned cash for crappy restaurant food. Over and over again I fuck up with the choice. My stomach is growling with indigestion from an odd-looking tuna guacamole burger that was so attractive on paper and in sound. A spot of green colored the bun on which sat a pinkish burger that looked like raw meat with 3 barely present arugula leaves, 2 slices of anemic tomatoes and....grease-glossed fries that could have been good. The ketchup came 10 minutes later. Viva’s soup had absolutely no taste whatsoever, save for a very faint idea of green something. His veggie meatballs were cold and his noodles burnt. My biggest eater passed. Only the one who actually burned a bunch of calories today devoured his and our food. Mostly the energy was regret. We are so spoiled coming from Santa Cruz organic land. Nothing ever quite produces a raving approval, except our own food. Plus Big Momma goes for the Daily Special deals, which are supposed to be fresh, right? Not. Well at least in Africa I won’t regret the 1$ or 2$ shelled out on meals.
Where are the men???? Travellin’ with my sons is not conducive to meeting men, sadly. I feel older, they mock me and men don’t come to me as easily. I have two maybe three men awaiting
me in Senegal. All want me for themselves. Noooooo. Sorry. Not now, not ever. I am a multi-man Frau, the more Diversity and Newness the happier I am. Baye Ass and Gallé in Senegal, Jean and Lamine and Zeca in Cabo Verde and quién sabe...await me...yonder....
My month-long vacation with Viva and Xica was a true Bliss of togetherness with some cathartic healing moments. What came out of it physically was a great rap video which I got to film for them and even feature in for 10 seconds. Seeing them bond over thier common interest was great. Working together on the writing and editing, I could see the Hansen music team in action. My Xica would depart the day before we did, lugging his giant board bag once again, a month later, to the check-in counter. Gratefully our rental car was impeccable. Shipping him off to Madrid for the night, in a room of his own with wifi, a sim card, TV and 50 Euros to spend made the end to his Euro adventure peaceful. I was sad to see him go because I know not when I will see him live again. But I have every intention to in the next year, and the miles to pull it off again. In the meantime, I have pledged a $6000 investment in his education at Indigital Institute in Santa Cruz for a Beats Production Course he has been pondering for a year. He is finally ready. When Xica says he is ready, he is. I trust his life decisions for himself. And look forward to the big one which will afford him a renewed life with grounded feet and mind. I pray it happens sooner than later.